


Cuatro

by Toxienne



Category: Bleach
Genre: Blood and Violence, F/M, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Multi, Non-Consensual Touching, Possibly Unrequited Love, Reader-Insert, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:07:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 32,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26131645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toxienne/pseuds/Toxienne
Summary: You wake in a strange, cold place; your last memory is of pain and a blinding blue light. When your eyes adjust and you can see again, the tall, smiling man in front of you says four words: "Welcome to Las Noches"
Relationships: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/You, Ulquiorra Cifer/Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, Ulquiorra Cifer/You, Ulquiorra/Reader
Comments: 23
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ⊶ Slightly AU, as it will not really follow the Manga/Anime story, but I will try to stay as IN character as I can with everyone.  
> (I may subconsciously use influence from some of my favourite fics I've read here, I hope that will not be an issue for anyone, I mean no disrespect. I actually love them. If I notice I have done so, I will be sure to add them as influences~)
> 
> Story summary:  
> ⊶ POV: You are a newly reborn female Arrancar, who has been left in the charge of Ulquiorra for training and what not.  
> ⊶ Grimmjow wants you as his Fraccion, but you want to be Ulquiorras.  
> ⊶ Slow build up.  
> ⊶ Lots of tension. LOTS.
> 
> \-------------------
> 
> Having only recently watched Bleach, I am completely smitten by Ulquiorra. (Grimmjow is okay too.)  
>  And I find myself frustrated with the current amount of fluffy, smutty and lewd reader insert fan-fictions that exist for him, which is NOT ENOUGH! So I am taking a dabble at it myself~  
> 

You felt cold.

The last thing you remember; a blinding blue light.  
You felt an impact. Searing pain. Pressure. You heard a loud crunch.  
_A crack_.

Then blackness. _Nothingness_.

But now, you felt cold.  
You try to move, but you feel disembodied. You can't locate your limbs, can't feel them react to the movement you wanted to make.  
_Were your eyes open?_ You couldn't tell. They felt open. But you couldn't see. Everything was still black, but you found yourself conscious.  
Somehow.

You tried to think. It felt like you couldn't. You didn't seem able to form a thought, except about the fact that you couldn't. As if trying to explain a dream you didn't remember.

Then, movement. From your peripheral. You couldn't catch it. You tried to look toward where you thought you saw something, but you still couldn't tell if your eyes were open. _Did you have eyes?_ You pondered. Maybe you don't. Maybe this is what death is. _Did you die?_

You didn't get much more of a chance to ponder that difficult thought before you noticed more movement. You also noticed that you felt less cold, and feeling in your limbs began to return. You noticed your thoughts were coming together more articulately as you focused on your senses returning.  
You had no bearing on your own body, but you attempted what you thought to be sitting up. You heard a loud thud, followed by an ache in the side of your head.  
Suddenly, you noticed blurred vision, and the feeling of cold tile against the side of your body. You looked around, dizzy, your head felt heavy as you craned your neck to look around you. You noticed shapes and dim light, everything seemed so monochrome. Everything was dim, black and white, grey. Then, a flash of green; it was far away from you, near the top of a thin pale object. It was so stark against everything else obscured in your vision. What was this object?

You heard a voice, muffled and unintelligible. You moved your still heavy head toward where you thought it was coming from. A tall figure stood over you, there was some light spilling from behind them, so it was hard to make out a face. You moved to shield your eyes from it, lifting your arm. It felt heavy too, and it slumped against your jaw lazily as you found you lacked the strength to hold it up. Your muscles felt like jelly. Before you had a chance to wonder what was going on, you felt hands around your arms, lifting you up. It was the first time you noticed the white fabric draped over your otherwise bare body. _A human body?_ You felt your legs brace a little for the first time as you were held up. Though your toes still felt numb, your bare skin felt the tile floor, warm from where you had been lying seconds earlier. You glanced sideways to see who had picked you up. Green. Your vision was still so blurry, dipping in and out of focus, but there was more green. Two orbs of a fine, bright jade green, surrounded by black and white. It was distracting you from your thoughts, it stuck out so far from everything around you, you felt like you needed to look at it. Everything was so grey and black and white, but here was this bright pop of colour, and you were trying so hard to focus, your eyes and head felt strained and you noticed your brow was furrowed. A hand took your jaw and turned your head forward.

You felt an intense spiritual pressure, and it felt refreshing. You felt your muscles tense and regain their strength, and you were able to hold yourself up. Your senses began to heighten as they returned. Your vision cleared, and you managed to focus; the once blurry monochrome vision you had slowly saturated with some colour. Not a lot, but it looked a bit more natural to look at it. Nothing was as bright as the green you had seen though. You forced your head sideways again to get a glimpse of the green you saw. The first thing you _really_ saw, you wanted to see what it belonged to. _Who_ it belonged to.  
But the hand on your face resisted, and you felt the ones that held you up let go, since you could now hold yourself up perfectly fine. Footsteps receded. You noticed in the corner of your vision that there were many figures standing around you. You looked up in front of you. The face of a man, smiling down at you, with a small slicked back mane of dark hair. A single lock fell in front of dark eyes, and he let go of your face, taking a step back. He raised his arms out, like he was some kind of Messiah.

"Welcome to Las Noches, (Y/N)."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like this was a good introduction chapter.  
> I hope anyone who reads it is happy with it, as I am.  
> I will continue to write more chapters~
> 
> They will slowly build up, with violence and sex and what not, but I'm personally all about that tension and build up so I'm going to ride that shit out for as many chapters as I can before my own edgy horniness finally takes over.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have been reborn as an Arrancar.
> 
> You're still getting used to everything. You'd think your mind would race more about everything that's happening to you, but it surprisingly doesn't. Though you have let your mind wander back to those flashes of green..
> 
> But there's no time for that. Aizen has requested Ulquiorra to train you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊶ This chapter contains some non consensual touching and implied threats of violence.

The man introduced himself as Sosuke Aizen. 

"Welcome to Las Noches, (Y/N)." he had said to you. The name he used was unfamiliar, but you didn't care if it ended up being what you were called from now on.  
He had explained to you how you were reborn as what he called 'Arrancar'. Another unfamiliar term.  
"These are my Espada. They are the finest of my Arrancar, and your blade will serve them as they see fit."  
You'd made a glance around the room at some of the faces, you felt a spike in Reiatsu from some of them. It was intimidating.  
You were still unsure of everything. You didn't know how you got here, what happened to you before this, why your body seemed human again. Trying to recall anything made your head hurt, and you put your hands to your face. It was then that you noticed something hard and smooth sitting on your cheekbone, just below your eye.

"Ulquiorra, I leave her in your care while she gets her bearings." Aizen had said firmly to someone behind you. "Please see her to her room." 

You were led to a room by a slender, black haired Arrancar, and followed closely behind by a scruffy blue haired one. Both were Espada. The latter made you feel a little uncomfortable. He walked behind you silently, but you could feel him look at you. You were holding the white fabric around yourself, a ball of it clutched at your chest, where a hollow space sat just below your collarbone. The fabric wasn't big enough to cover everything. Aside from where your long hair fell, your shoulders and back were exposed, as well as your legs, and you felt a predatory gaze on every bit of exposed skin. How fitting, you thought, remembering the brief glimpse of the sharp toothed mask fixed at his jaw.  
As for the Espada in the lead, you never saw his face. By the time you were made to head into the hallways, he was already on his way toward whatever your destination was. You'd made a small run to catch up. 

"You do not need to escort us." The Espada known as Ulquiorra spoke, without turning his head. "Grimmjow."  
You heard a scoff from behind you.

"I ain't." Grimmjow laughed, "I'm just taking a detour to the training arena. Admiring the views along the way."  
His voice sounded coy, and he followed his statement up with a laugh that almost sounded like a growl. His Reiatsu pulsed. It felt much stronger than yours did, and had a violent feel to it. You felt a strong squeeze on one of your bare thighs, sharp nails digging in on the inside of it, but not breaking the skin. You made a small gasp in shock and lurched forward. You hadn't noticed the Espada in front of you stop, and you nearly bumped into his back. It was silent. You were sure you could almost feel his eyes roll. He turned his head slightly, and you got a better look at the horned mask fixed to the left side of his head. 

"Don't be vulgar." Ulquiorra said flatly, and continued walking. It was clear he had wanted to say something else, but thought it not worth the effort.

"Tch." Grimmjow scoffed again, muttered something to the one in front of you, and then you felt his presence fade as you continued to walk down the long dim hallways. 

A moment of relief, no longer feeling like someones prey. Your mind wandered to that blazing green, you couldn't get it out of your mind. It was suddenly the only thing in your thoughts and you felt a tingle in your stomach. But it was short lived when you finally arrived at what was your room. It was a small space, with a very high ceiling. A single window sat high up in the wall, opened to a breeze and a view of a large crescent moon. You remembered this moon, vaguely. Though you're sure the last time you saw it, it was shining down between quartz trees instead of through a prison-like window.  
The room was filled with minimal furniture. A small bed with a single side table, a desk and a couch. You noticed a screen in the corner and what looked like part of a bath behind it. Something was folded on the bed. Your head was down as you entered slowly, leaving the Espada with you at the door. As you entered, a dim light had triggered, slightly illuminating the room in a soft almost purple glow. 

"These are your quarters from now on." Ulquiorra spoke from behind you, breaking the silence.  
His voice startled you, and you turned to look at him. His face was hidden in shadow as he stood in the doorway, his silhouette darkened by the bright light of the hallways behind him.

"There are clothes laid out for you on the bed. You should get properly dressed." He turned to leave. "I will check on you in a few minutes. I have been ordered to train you, so we will get to it as soon as possible."  
You watched the back of him leave as the door closed, obscuring him from sight. 

You stood for a moment in the quiet, dimly light room. Pondering. Your mind wandered to the feeling of waking up on those cold tiles. All the unfamiliar figures in the room with you. How exposed and vulnerable you felt. The thought again of that lush jade green you saw. Then it became all you thought about. You weren't sure what it was, who it belonged to. If it was even real. Remembering how starkly saturated and bright that green was compared to everything else. Everything else in this place. This cold monochrome place.  
Although you felt trapped, you somehow didn't feel the need to try and leave. You felt somewhat at home here, despite the trapped feeling. But you figure you'd always felt trapped, ever since you first arrived in Hueco Mundo long ago.  
You decided to do as Ulquiorra said, and you got dressed in the clothes left for you on the bed. They were surprisingly flattering, fit well and were comfortable. Slim black pants that hugged your figure, the white top zipped up to your neck, covering the hollow space near your throat, fabric clinging nicely to your frame and bust. The sleeves flared at the end and, as you noticed a mirror, you saw the back of it had a pointed tail. Together with the flared sleeves, it made you look like a little white bird. Your stomach caught in your throat as you noticed your face. Your very _human_ face. Familiarity. You had not seen this face in a while. You're certain it must have been your face when you were human, but that was so long ago. You don't even remember your human life. Just a little bit here and there from right before you became hollow. Though your eyes looked more sunken, dark lines outlining them. A small white bone-like protrusion flared off your cheekbone, curving slightly with the shape of your eye. It looks like a feather, but touching it was hard. You recognised it. You weren't sure how, you'd never seen your face when you were hollow, but you knew the familiar shape.  
There was a knock at the door, and after a second or two it began to open. You caught a glimpse of Ulquiorras shape in the mirror as he walked in behind you. 

"It seems everything fits well." He said as he walked in, the door closing behind him automatically. "It suits you."  
You would have actually taken it as a compliment if it didn't sound so _perfunctory_. You turned to look at him. The door now fully closed, and his face lit by the dim light in your room. Your breath hitched.

_Green._

You blinked a few times, and felt your pulse race. It was the green you saw in your dazed state, you were sure of it. The one you so longed to see again. You felt your cheeks flush hot. Ulquiorras unchanging, blank expression made you feel all the more foolish for letting your own face show anything. His green eyes, so beautiful, so bright, seemed as if they were almost looking through you. But you finally knew who that green belonged to. It was almost heart breaking. Such beautiful eyes holding such an empty, uncaring stare. 

"Is there a problem? Are you still unwell?" Ulquiorra asked flatly. You compose yourself, and answer flatly back at him.

"I'm fine. Just getting used to everything still."

"Fine." He responded. "Then follow me. I will teach you how to fight with a sword."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'd been 'alive' for barely a few hours, and you'd already been lead into an arena.  
> Ulquiorra has orders from Lord Aizen to train you immediately. 
> 
> Even after a week, you're still not used to this new Arrancar form yet. You haven't got a good grip on your strength or potential yet, since it all seems to be locked behind memories you can't reach. So things aren't going too great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊶This chapter contains violence and some non-con sexual content

"You are taking too long." Ulquiorra noted. 

He stood in the centre of a large stone arena. Many pillars surrounded the edges, making the wide open space feel somehow claustrophobic.  
He had his hands in his pockets, watching you with an empty, green stare as you nervously stepped towards the centre to meet him. Your white boots making a light, satisfying noise on the heel with every step on the stone floor.  
You felt indignant. To you, it felt like you were making a lot of progress. Though Ulquiorra was right, it had been a few days now, and the Asauchi you were given still hasn't taken to your hollow power, but you feel like you're getting the hang of using it at least. You've never been a fighter before now, you were sure of that.  
You make a start, brandishing your sword, you've gotten the hang of using sonido so you used it to close the distance. You make a swing at Ulquiorra. He effortlessly blocks it with one hand, the other still in his pocket. This is how it always was. The last few days, you'd barely gotten the hang of actually using a sword, but every time you think you've gotten better, Ulquiorra shows you just how much you haven't by brushing off every attack like you were a gnat. You've never been able to directly hit him, let alone make a cut to his hierro. That's an Espada for you though, you thought. You'd never felt so powerless and weak.  
Suddenly, a familiar and unwelcome spiritual pressure was made clear. It caught you off guard, but Ulquiorras face never wavered from his blank expression.

"You're soft, Ulquiorra!" The voice of Grimmjow boomed into the large stone space. 

"She needs to spend her time improving, not recovering." Ulquiorra was quick to respond, still lazily blocking your strikes as you try one after another. "Injuring her will only hinder her training."

"If this kittens got any lion in her, you'll find out quicker if you actually rough her the fuck up!" The predatory Reiatsu of Grimmjow rumbled through the space, stabbing and pricking your skin in an unfriendly way. Your guard dropped and you felt a hard pain against your arm that made you drop your sword as Ulquiorra took advantage of the opening you'd made. You fell to one knee as you tried to catch your breath.

"You are a distraction, Grimmjow." Ulquiorra sighed. It only made the blue haired Espada roar with laughter. 

"Lord Aizen wants to see you." His eyes narrowed and a grin stretched over his face. "I can take over from here."

Ulquiorra looked up at Grimmjow with his blank stare, though you're almost certain you can see a microscopic look of annoyance and disgust he's failed to hide. Or one he purposefully let show, you're still not sure how to read him. 

"Go back to your quarters." He said quietly to you, not breaking his eye contact with Grimmjow. "We will continue this when I return."

He didn't wait for your answer as he put his hand back in his pocket and walked out of the arena. Leaving you and Grimmjow alone. You felt Ulquiorras always faint Reiatsu fade away even more as you stood staring up at wild blue eyes. Grimmjows pressure slowly rumbled harder as he stared down at you, making you feel like prey. You didn't dare to break eye contact with him, for fear he would immediately kill you if you did. You can feel the vulgar intent in the Reiatsu he released, but you held your ground, attempting to release some of your own in response, hoping to make him back down. It didn't work. It only confirmed that you were prey compared to him. Your mind flashed back to the tight grip he had on your bare thigh just a week before.. He laughed and suddenly launched down into the centre of the arena where you were. You were quick to pick up your sword again and attempted to block, but Grimmjow swiped it away from your hands so forcefully you thought your arms would break. The impact of him sent you backwards. You slid against the stone floor and came to a stop as you hit one of the pillars at the edge of the arena. Grimmjow had his hand on your throat, squeezing hard, and you gasped and whimpered. He grabbed a fistful of your hair with his free hand and pulled your head back. The hand he had on your throat loosened, but only enough to give him access as he bit down hard through the fabric of your top and straight into the flesh of your throat. You made a scream that hitched as if your voice itself was caught in his teeth. You felt his hand run down your chest and snatch your thigh again, gripping near the apex. You felt a hot angry, heat run from your groin into your cheeks. He released his bite and threw you to the ground. You felt the warmth of blood as it began to seep out of the fresh wound in your neck. Your top had come undone, as Grimmjow had bitten off the zipper holding it together. Your chest was almost fully exposed, your breasts were threatening to fall free. Grimmjow made another start at you, but hesitated when he saw your exposed chest.  
For a moment his look went from hungry, to angry. But he soon relaxed his Reiatsu as he muttered to himself, turning away from you.

"Tch.. Just my fucking luck.." you'd heard him growl under his breath.

You felt humiliated and angry. You covered your chest with one arm as you got up. You picked up your sword that lay nearby. Grimmjow looked back at you curiously, sensing your own Reiryoku fluctuating. There was heat in your chest, your throat stung with pain. You felt a tugging at your core, a burning rage, you let it flow. You noticed the same time that Grimmjow did that your Reiatsu was building higher than it had before, giving a hint to a Reiryoku hidden in you. A sly grin came across his face as he turned back to you, ready for another round.  
You had a strange thought that intruded in your mind. A name. Familiar and comforting. Raised your sword, pouring your spiritual pressure into it.

You opened your mouth to speak, it just came out without a chance to stop, as if on instinct. _"Cuervo Blanca"_

Suddenly you felt the spiritual pressure around you spike harshly, and you were surrounded by white light. You felt stronger than you had ever felt since waking in Las Noches, with barely a coherent memory of your life before this. Only bits and pieces from your scattered timeline. But suddenly, everything flowed back. You remembered. You remembered your long, evolving climb as you consumed hollow and menos alike. You once flew through the Forest of Menos, white wings in your peripheral. Free as anything.

The light cleared and the dust settled. Grimmjow was looking bewildered for only a moment before a sly smile was straight back on his face. Looking smug; he was right.  
He had roughed you up well and good, to the point where you snapped, and it's what you needed to be able to pour your hollow power into your Asauchi.  
You were ready to fight. But no sooner had you filled yourself with the will to strike Grimmjow down, you began to feel dizzy. You felt your power wane, and fell to the floor, not realising you had been floating this whole time. 

You heard the roaring, growling laughter of Grimmjow.  
"How can you expect to compare to any of us if you can't even hold that form?" He taunted. 

It felt like a few minutes passed. You were in an angry daze. Angry at Grimmjow for humiliating you again. Angry at yourself for letting him, for not being able to hold onto the power you knew was yours to use. You looked up, he was still standing there. That familiar predatory look in his eyes again. His Reiatsu boomed around you again, just as violent as before, but this time it had a tinge of victory to it. He let it scrape and prick your skin, stinging your wounds. He picked you up by the throat again, his fingers stinging against the wound he put there earlier. He had you back against the wall, placing his knee between your thighs and leaning against you to keep you pinned. You felt that same hot flush come over you, it threw you off for a second.  
"You will always be prey." He growled in your ear. Then he bit down hard on your lip before taking it into a rough kiss. You groaned and fought it, but he was stronger than you. It made you feel so weak knowing that even at this strength he had you in, he was still holding back so much. He could break you if he wanted to. You were worried he will want to soon. His lips left yours and he took a deep gasping breath of satisfaction, licking your blood from his lips. You wrestled a hand free from between you both and shoved it into his face, hooking your fingers under the mask, yanking as hard as you could. He growled and backed away for a moment, only to flash you a hungry look. You flinched and braced for his assault again, but you heard him suddenly yelp in surprise, and then a loud crash from the other side of the arena.  
You opened your eyes, sensing Ulquiorra. He was standing in front of you, his back to you, his arm out, and Grimmjow nowhere to be seen. His other hand still nonchalantly in his pocket.  
It took a moment to realise that Grimmjow and been thrown aside by Ulquiorra. He was standing braced against a pillar on the other side of the arena, taken aback, but with only minor injuries by the look of it. He muttered something you couldn't make out, and walked triumphantly away and out of the arena. "Whatever!" He laughed over his shoulder. "It's not that much fun when it's too easy. And even less so when _you_ get involved." 

You slumped to your knees when you felt Grimmjows presence fade, feeling helpless and humiliated all over again.  
"Are you injured?" Ulquiorra asked, in his usually flat, uncaring tone, not even turning to look at you. You wanted to cry, but you held back. A small tear betrayed you though, as it rolled down your cheek. You made a sniffle as you gathered your composure and went to stand. Ulquiorra had turned to face you now, both hands in his pockets. You looked into his eyes and you could feel the disgust he must have felt, even though his eyes didn't show it. But you looked like a sorry sight, disheveled and bloody, crudely exposed. _Weak._. How could he not think you were trash? You didn't break eye contact as you straightened up.

"I'm fine." You said, as stoic as possible. You brushed your hair away from your bloody throat and went to pull the remnants of the top of your shirt back around your chest. You saw Ulquiorras eyes move down to look at your bare chest, inspecting your wound before noticing your hollow hole. For a second, you thought you saw his pupils shrink in shock. But only for a mere second, maybe not even that, before he looked back in your eyes again with his usual cold stare. His beautiful, green, dead stare that you both love and hate.

He dropped your gaze as he turned and motioned with his head for you to follow him.  
"I will take you to the infirmary."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spent time in the infirmary to treat the wounds on your neck, then were sent to your quarters to recover your strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊶ A little bit of self pleasure  
> ⊶ Fantasizing about a little pain play

Ulquiorra left abruptly without a word after bringing you to the infirmary. You weren't surprised though, you wouldn't be in any state to train for a couple days now. You had been injured in a few places, however minor they may have been. But you also spent a significant amount of your Reiryoku, and you weren't good at moderating it yourself yet, so healing would definitely take some time. He had no obligation to be at your side. But you felt a twang of disappointment. As cold and callous as he was toward you, you found you still enjoyed being around him.  
You found a strange comfort in those green eyes. The very few times he actually looked at you while addressing you or relaying orders, you kept your eyes on his, using your peripheral to study the rest of his face. The dark outlines around his eyes that brought out the colour of his irises so well. His dark brooding eyebrows, always fixed in the most neutral way you've ever seen. The green marks that glided down his pale cheeks, giving his face more character than he'd ever willingly express on his own. His one dark lip set against the rest of his porcelain complexion. A thought intruded your mind about how his lips would taste, how his skin would feel between your teeth..  
A touch on your neck breaks your train of thought in a sharp sting and you jump a little. 

"I'm sorry. Please hold still." The timid Arrancar nurse tended to your wounds.  
You felt a flush in your cheeks as you realised you were picturing Ulquiorras face in great detail. You felt ashamed, thinking about him in that way, you felt a little like Grimmjow. You shuddered at the thought.

"Hold still please." The nurse repeated. She made quick work of your wounds, mending your bruises and bites with salves and bandages. Most of your injuries were already almost gone, save for the wound in your throat. You almost felt good as new, there were some aches, and you felt incredibly exhausted from expending so much spiritual power. But you felt a good bit better than an hour ago. 

You walked the long hallways back to your quarters alone. You were practically on autopilot as you went, and when you got to your room you felt weirdly proud of yourself for not getting lost on the way. And thankful not to run into anyone. A lot of the halls and corridors all looked the same in Las Noches. It took you some time to get familiar with it. You still weren't sure you've even seen 1% of the giant desert fortress, but you at least knew which areas to avoid so you wouldn't run into any of the other Espada. You wondered which part of Las Noches was where Ulquiorra stayed? You shook the thought from your mind as the door to your room opened and you walked in. You wondered why he was invading your mind so much at the moment. Maybe the thought of him coming to your rescue was the reason it's intense right now. The relief you felt when you looked up and saw him standing between you and Grimmjow. Another thought you shook from your head. He didn't save you for you. He saved you for him, because he was in charge of you, he had to. Or maybe he saved you to spite Grimmjow and deny him what he wanted, you were familiar enough with the both of them to know there was animosity between them, but you weren't sure why. Anyway, him saving you could have been a million other things, before it was a genuine urge to save you for _you_.

You sighed and removed the tattered and stained clothing you had on. There were no other clothes for you to change into, so just sat on the bed for a while. Bare breasted, in nothing but your black pants and some bandages. You crossed your legs and let your shoulders hunch, closing your eyes. It feels like this is the first time you actually had time to stop doing anything. You've been in Las Noches for about a week, maybe, but this is the first time you aren't training, or running around doing errands or sleeping restlessly. You actually seemed to have free time. You thought back to the first moment you woke up in Aizens court, surrounded by Espada. You were trying to remember what happened before that, but it was stuck behind a wall in your mind. You tried thinking in different directions, so to speak, trying to get around that wall. It seemed hopeless, you just couldn't remember. You wanted to though, there were memories you had a taste of earlier, and you want to bring them back again. They seemed as distant as a dream from the previous night. But because of those small pieces, you finally awakened your Asauchi today, for all the good it did though. But you were still feeling proud of yourself. You wondered if Ulquiorra would be proud too? No, he would probably just act like it was only logical that you would. He'd feel relieved that you could finally move on to more intense training, since he'd had to hold back so hard all this time. You can just picture his expression about it. Or lack there of.  
Immediately the green of Ulquiorras eyes invaded your mind, you felt a flush in your cheeks. It was your new favourite colour, it seemed. You pictured those eyes, his pale skin, his dark lips again.. you felt a warm knot in your stomach, a small flick of adrenaline, and a heat began to pool between your legs. You lay back and pressed your thighs together, trying to shoo the feeling away. It didn't leave though, and you sighed as you decided to indulge in it. You pictured those eyes looking at you the way you were now, his gaze gliding down your body. You thought again about biting his lip, wondering how it would feel to kiss him. Wondering how his face would look between your--

You hear a knock on your door. You panic, thoughts interrupted, quickly jumping off the bed and reaching blindly for that old white drape you knew you had thrown somewhere on the floor. You wanted to cover up quickly, you knew it would be Ulquiorra. Aside from a sweet Fraccion child you had lightly befriended, he was the only one that ever visited you. But he never waited to be let in, he would knock to announce himself, and only wait a second or two before letting himself in. You felt embarrassed knowing he was about to come in while you were half naked, thinking lewd thoughts about him. You paused as you noticed the door hadn't opened yet though. A second knock came.

"(Y/N)." His voice came from the other side. It sent a shock of heat down your spine hearing your name spoken by him while your head was still a little dizzy with the thoughts from just seconds ago.  
You found the drape and quickly pulled it around your naked top half.  
"Yes." You called towards the door, and it slowly opened.

Ulquiorra walked in, holding a folded set of fresh clothes.  
"I apologise." He said flatly. "I assumed you would be in need of these." His green eyes locked into yours, unwavering. You hoped he hadn't noticed how flushed you looked, or if he did, you hoped he thought it was just exhaustion. His stare made you think he could read your mind. You swallowed a lump in your throat.

"Thank you." You croaked. It caught you by surprise, you hadn't noticed how much it hurt to speak. Ulquiorra broke eye contact and walked towards the desk, placing the clothes down. He moved back to the door swiftly, putting his hands back in his pockets.

"Your Reiatsu is weak." He said as though observing a malfunction in a tool. He turned his head over his shoulder to look at you again.  
"I will ensure that no one disturb you while you recover. We will resume training in two days."

You were still standing holding the drape around yourself, bunching the fabric high at your chest.  
"Grimmjows behaviour today," He said suddenly, shifting his body slightly back towards you. "It is not something I condone, it was unnecessary and vulgar; the act of a degenerate. I regret that I let it happen. I should have seen you to your quarters myself."

"Thank you." You said softly, "Though, I blame myself. I shouldn't have challenged him."  
You don't know why you felt the need to reassure him, you knew he didn't feel guilty. He was likely just annoyed, his regret being that, in this state you're in, you couldn't train like Lord Aizen has wanted you to. Still, it felt nice to hear him say those words to you, and you felt yourself relax. Your shoulder dropped, your hands dropped a little lower, revealing your hollow hole. You notice Ulquiorra tense ever so slightly and look away quickly. You looked down at the empty space in your chest and huffed.

"Is there a problem?" You asked, irritably. You voice still weak and croaky. You cursed Grimmjow in your head. Ulquiorra made no movement, and seemed to pretend you never asked anything. 

"Ulquiorra." It came out harsher and firmer than you had intended, since you had overcompensated for your lack of voice.  
He looked back over his shoulder at you. One jade eye looking at you out the corner, his expression still so hard to read, but you realise it was the first time you actually said his name out loud. 

"There is no problem." He responded coldly. "I will make sure you are not disturbed while you rest. We will resume training in two days." He repeated, and before you could say anything else, he had left, the door closing behind him.

You felt anger flush up again, you threw the drape down angrily and turned to the mirror. Both Grimmjow and Ulquiorra had reacted with what looked like disgust when they noticed the hollow space in your chest. You stared at yourself. You didn't want to think about it, but you had felt like a monster ever since you first saw your reflection. Sure, you look mostly human enough, but it only made you feel worse because you knew you weren't. You got angry thinking about it. Then you got angry at the fact that you somehow still felt all these feelings. They were almost so foreign to you because you hadn't felt anything in so long. _Being hollow does that_ , you muse. You laugh at yourself, calming down, thinking how stupid you were being. You looked again at yourself, your naked chest rising and falling slowly as you breathed. You giggled to yourself as you cupped a breast in your hand, taking a hardening nipple between your fingers. Maybe it really wasn't so bad. You've been having some pretty good feelings lately. Whatever Grimmjow did today definitely awakened more than just one thing. And with that, your mind was invaded by green again. It was persistent, and you groaned in annoyance, but it didn't last long as a warm feeling budded in your stomach again. You were somewhat relieved to see Ulquiorra again after what happened today. After he so abruptly left, you thought he would avoid you for a while.

But now you were just angry with him too. You threw yourself back on the bed, picturing Ulquiorra on his knees on the floor in the middle of your room, just his jacket removed revealing pale skin and sinewy muscle across his torso and arms, his hands tied behind his back. That thought makes you excited, seeing his usually superior self looking so dominated, and it fans the flames from earlier into a bigger burning coil of embers. Your skin tingled and your breath hitched and you pictured dragging the sharp end of his own sword along one of his shoulders as you slowly circled around him, _finally_ being able to cut through his strong hierro. Him looking up at you with those beautiful jade eyes, still unwavering, stoic as ever. Something about his neutral expression in a situation like this really does it for you, because you know it's just a front, at least in your own mind right now. You imagine seeing just a slight wince in his face, a slight clenching of his jaw, the dilating of a pupil for a mere second at the sensation of the all cuts you make forming and bleeding along his body, before composing himself and putting the facade back up again. You imagine tracing your finger along the edge of his mask, trailing up the side of his face and along the protruding horn. You think about grabbing it, using it to pull his head back and expose his neck as you trace the tip of the sword from his jaw down to his chest. Leaving a long red trail, his shaggy black hair caressing his shoulders..  
You snap back suddenly, taken aback by your own pleasure. You hadn't even noticed you had your hand down the front of your tight pants, sliding a finger along your slick folds and sensitive spot of bundled nerves, panting and whimpering while you pictured giving Ulquiorra some punishment you felt he deserved. Everything unraveled and you were suddenly in pure ecstasy. You let a moan out, it catches in your throat, hurting a little in your damaged vocal chords. It didn't stop you though, in fact your mind rode with the pain as you imagined Ulquiorra being the one to bite down where it hurt, picturing his dark lip contrasted against the flesh of your neck. It made your pleasure ride out for longer. Your head spun and you tensed, arching your back while you let out a drawn out moan, full of lust and satisfaction. 

You ended the sensations with a heavy sigh, chest heaving in your panting, you lay there for a moment. Satisfied. Though not entirely, somehow. It was quiet except for the sound of you catching your breath. You relished in the feelings. You're not sure you ever felt anything like that before. But you liked it. You gazed out the window to the large crescent moon shining in. You closed your eyes and thought about sleep, when you suddenly felt your stomach drop. You realised that you were only just now noticing Ulquiorras presence, faint as it was, since he usually kept his Reiatsu so low. It had never left when the door to your room closed. You stared, wide eyed at the door. _Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably won't end up writing things to be very graphic, so I apologise if it was something you were hoping for.  
> As a demisexual IRL, I find sex related things kinda hard to articulate without getting all up in the feels as well.  
> Plus I kinda wanna let some of it come from your own imagination too!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spent 2 days recovering in your room, trying to forget your humiliating past week, and just focus on getting better so you can get back to training. A new fire lit with the knowledge of the power you held inside you somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊶ May contain implied threats of violence and rape.  
> ⊶ Some angst

_You felt cold._  
_Everything around was black at first. The cold you felt, you realised to be wind. The cool Hueco Mundo air whipping around your body. You felt your wings outstretched in a glorious flight. You could see quartz trees sprinkled down below you, small groups of hollows here and there. Some noticed you, but none of them cared._

Your eyes opened.

The two days you were given to rest were almost up. You felt stronger again, with plenty of Reiryoku to spare. You sat up in your bed.  
Not long after you had noticed Ulquiorras presence outside your door back then, it had left, and he hadn't returned since. Had he been avoiding you? You dreaded facing him. You didn't know if he had heard you, didn't know if he knew the thought of him was the reason. You felt indignant. You didn't even know why you cared. You had spent your days recovering in your room only. You didn't dare leave for even a walk or to see some of the Fraccion who you had acquainted yourself with. You were worried about running into Ulquiorra. Or Grimmjow. You felt ashamed to see either of them now, but you didn't really understand why. It's not like either of them really knew that you had spent almost all of the last two days dreaming wildly about pleasurable events, though you suspect Grimmjow already believes you would have even if you hadn't.  
You hadn't been dressed the whole time, you decided it would be a good idea to now though. You know _he_ will eventually come and get you to resume your training.  
As much as you dreaded facing him again, you did still spend a lot of time thinking about him. And for some reason, sometimes Grimmjow was there too. You'd picture wild fantasies where Ulquiorra was on his knees pleasing you, Grimmjow bound in a corner, muzzled, made to watch with hungry, jealous eyes. Ulquiorras fingers running over every inch of skin on your body, feeling the sharp press of the remnants of his mask against the inside of your thigh while his tongue did work, Grimmjow growling angrily, hungrily, from out of sight. There was something you really liked about picturing Grimmjow, who you know wanted you, watching have all your attention on, _and from_ , Ulquiorra, who you were sure didn't want you at all.  
You even had pictured Ulquiorra being held for you like a prize by a muzzled Grimmjow, using one hand to hold Ulquiorras arms behind his back with the other in a tight grip on his throat, while you once again traced the sharp end of a sword across his bare pale torso, a slight look of disgust at being in such a situation involving Grimmjow. And probably you as well, you laughed to yourself as you reminisced the thought. 

The door to your room began to open, without a knock. You stood quickly, feeling thankful you'd decided to dress before. It was Grimmjow, a new, deep scar marred across his chest. A knot formed in your stomach at the sight of him. You were so engrossed in your own filthy mind you hadn't even noticed his presence approach. Or did he purposefully hide it? There was a second one you didn't recognise. His Reiatsu was different from the Espada, but reminded you of the one you felt coming from Lord Aizen your first day here. 

"Good morning, (Y/N)!" A soft, cheery voice sounded, it gave you chills. A tall pale haired man with a foxy looking face pushed past Grimmjow and into your doorway. You vaguely recognised him as one of the figures standing near Aizen back then. "I am Gin Ichimaru. Lord Aizen would like to see you, we are here to escort you to him."

"Where is Ulquiorra?" You asked almost involuntarily, both relieved and disappointed he wasn't the one to come fetch you. You saw Grimmjow smirk and bare his teeth.

"Ulquiorra is currently away on an important errand for Lord Aizen." Gin replied, matter of factly.  
"Bitch jobs." Grimmjow laughed. You began to wonder if he had taken those errands to avoid you. After all, you were sure he saw you as trash now.

You gave a slight nod as Gin motioned to the hallways past Grimmjow. You walked out of your room, following behind Gin Ichimaru, tensing slightly as you passed Grimmjow, who trailed behind again. He wasn't exuding his usual predatory presence this time. Was it because of this man with you? You still felt his eyes on you though. The silent walk to Lord Aizens court felt like it took hours, no one saying anything. The feeling of Grimmjow looking at you the whole time made you annoyed. You made a quick look behind you, making sure to furrow your brow, thinking it made you look stoic. Grimmjow had his hands behind his head as he walked, looking down at you with a wide, toothy grin, revealing sharp canines. His eyes flashed with a quick look of hunger, and you felt your cheeks flush. You turned away quickly, hoping the huff you made sounded more like an annoyed scoff so he wouldn't notice. There was a slow rumbling feeling as you felt a small spike in Grimmjows Reiatsu, and for a second you felt that same violence in his Reiryoku. 

"Please restrain your silly thoughts, Grimmjow" Gin had spoken cheerily. Grimmjow said nothing, but the violent feeling subsided again quickly. You turned into a large room, black tiled floor, tall white walls that seemed to go on forever into darkness above. It was familiar, though there seemed to be no one here this time. This was Aizens court. You looked forward to see Aizen sitting on a quartz throne of sorts, a dark man with covered eyes standing next to him. 

"(Y/N)", Aizen spoke softly, but somehow his voice still seemed to boom across the room. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. You must still be wondering what your place here is. I trust that you have rested well?"  
You didn't feel like saying anything, you felt a little too intimidated. The first and only time you'd seen him before now was when you were still practically an incompetent newborn. 

"You must also be wondering why I am having you escorted most of the time." He stood up and walked toward you. You noticed Gin walk past you both and take his place next to the other man by Aizens chair. You glanced back to see where Grimmjow was, he was still standing right behind you. It gave you a chill. 

"Do you remember anything from before? Do you remember your time with your hollow tribe?" Aizen asked. You gave him a confused look. "It seems you are missing some memories. But that's not surprising. When I found you, you had a pretty bad hit to your head. Your mask was so broken, you were in such a state. I thought you had perished with the rest of them."

His words made a pit in your stomach for some reason. 

"You were magnificent." He continued, holding his hands out near your face, as if he were about to cup your cheeks. "I just had to have you as an addition to my army of Arrancar. I've heard from Grimmjow that through his methods, you were able to unlock some of your hidden potential. I would like that continue."

A shock ran through your body at those words. 

"Grimmjow has requested to have you as his Fraccion." Aizen put a gentle hand on your shoulder. "However, I will have to mull it over for a while. I do not wish for you to be distressed while we work to unlock those abilities in you. While I appreciate the.. _efforts_ by Grimmjow, I feel it would not be a suitable long term approach." 

You felt Grimmjow tense behind you. 

"What are you saying?!" He yelled at Aizen. "I've just shown you I can do better than that filthy fucking Cuatro and you spit it back in my face?! I know what the fuck to do and he doesn't!"  
His words roll around in your head. You'd never thought about what number Ulquiorra was before. You knew Grimmjow was 6, the Sexta. That much was obvious with it flaunted so brazenly along with the hollow space in his stomach. So Ulquiorra must be 4. You'd never seen his number though, let alone his hollow space. So much about him was an enigma to you still. But you realised this may be a reason for the animosity between him and Grimmjow. Grimmjow _was_ jealous. You felt a little smug for some reason. 

"You will not address Lord Aizen unless you have been given permission, Grimmjow!" The voice of the darker man next to Gin called out angrily, bracing a hand on the handle of his sheathed sword. 

"It's not a bother, Tosen." Aizen had responded, giving a wave of his own hand back at him. 

Grimmjow scoffed, but he didn't get a chance to say anything else before you noticed a familiar faint presence.

Ulquiorra had entered the court silently, and Aizens attention had moved to him as he walked directly over. You could hear them talk quietly, but you couldn't make out what they were saying. You looked at Ulquiorras face, his unblinking, unchanging blank expression, and you felt a twist in your stomach, feeling both anxious and relieved to see him. Those eyes. You hoped he would look at you, but he never did. He had closed his eyes and bowed slightly at Aizen. 

Aizen excused you, telling you that you would pick up this conversation later. Gin had come back to your side and led you out of the court, leaving Grimmjow and Ulquiorra with Aizen.

You were back in your room before you knew it. It was frustrating, a big part of you had hoped to be back in the arena training again, you felt keen on trying to get that power out again, whatever it was, but with a less.. _Grimmjow_ sort of method. But now you were sitting here with nothing to do, a half finished conversation about your past running through your head, the worry of being made Grimmjows Fraccion, meaning you would be humiliated over and over until he and Aizen got what they wanted from you. It would mean seeing less of Ulquiorra. You didn't really want that. The last two days had already been hard enough. It's like you were addicted to looking at him, though you'd never admit it out loud.

A knock at your door made a flutter in your stomach, you had been sulking for a couple hours now, lost in your brooding thoughts. The door opened silently and Ulquiorra stepped in. 

"Your strength seems to have returned." He announced. "Good. We will continue your training. Get yourself ready."

A sharp feeling hit you in your chest as you noticed a dark empty hole where his left eye used to be. His other eye continued to stare at you as though he didn't even notice anything was wrong. He made a sigh and closed his eyelids.

"This is nothing to be concerned about." He said coldly, you could hear mild annoyance in his voice for once. "Lord Aizen required some reconnaissance elsewhere. I merely showed him what I observed. It will heal soon enough."

"Does it.. hurt?" You asked. 

"Pain does not bother me." He answered flatly.

"So, is that where you've been this whole time?" You asked, trying to ignore that dark space in his face, thinking about how you never once felt his presence again after he'd left your room.

"I left last night." He answered. You were surprised. You half expected him to ignore that question and repeat his order to train. It almost felt like he was making actual conversation with you for once.  
"I stayed nearby here in mean time. I had told you I would ensure you were not disturbed while you rested. I masked my Reiatsu so as not to make you feel like you were being monitored. You are not a prisoner here, there was no need to make you feel like one."

Those last lines made your stomach flutter again, excitement and dread. Had he been outside your door the whole time? Had he heard _everything?_ You felt your cheeks get hot to match the heat behind your bellybutton as you had a wishful thought that maybe he had _intended_ to hear you. You caught yourself before you thought further than that, remembering that you were currently standing in front of him. You cleared your throat nervously and looked away from his stare.

"You seem uncomfortable." He stated. "Does my injury offend you?" He turned his body to face away from you.

"No!" You'd said before you caught yourself, and he turned his head back. "No, it's not that. I just..." Your voice trailed, not sure how to explain.

"You still haven't gotten control of how much Reiatsu you release, and it fluctuates when you are in distress. You are clearly uncomfortable that I am here. I shall leave you to get ready and will let you meet me at the arena yourself. Don't be long." He turned and walked out the doorway. You let out a frustrated sigh as you watched the door close. You were slightly surprised to see Ulquiorras green eye give you a quick look before the door closed all the way. You felt his presence linger for a moment before it faded. You almost thought it looked like he was waiting for you to stop him. You stood, stunned. You were tempted to follow immediately after him and stop him, but you thought better of it. Assuming that you were misreading him again. He was here to train you. Nothing more. You're trash, and he's supposed to make you _not_ trash. Those were Aizens orders. He is here on _orders_. Not because he wants to be.

You gave yourself a moment to calm down, removing the bandages from your now healed neck. You pulled your hair back loosely so it stayed out of your face, grabbed your sword and headed toward the training arena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty and frustrating, I know.  
> Gonna flip flop between different feelings and thoughts, not sure if it's obvious that it's intentional.  
> I have it in my head that MC is emotionally and mentally unstable at the moment because of everything at the moment, so there will be mood swings and what not. Kinda basing a lot of it on my own experiences in the past; I did a lot of self loathing, conclusion-jumping and then suddenly DIDN'T do that because of something or another, then back again etc. If that makes sense.  
> I'm sure anyone who has struggle with mental illness might understand what I mean~
> 
> I read a comment somewhere with a theory, not sure if its canon to his lore, that whenever Ulquiorra feels emotions, those weaker and more sensitive that happen to be around him tend to feel a lot of despair and become overwhelmed with emotions and feel like crying for no reason, so I'm putting a little of that in there too.
> 
> Also, Grimmjows scar isn't from Ichigo, it's from Tosen as punishment for attacking MC.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've been training with Ulquiorra. You worry you can't hold your released form at all.  
> Grimmjow is jealous, as he doesn't get what he wants.  
> A small fight breaks out.
> 
> This one is a bit longer than the rest, but I was on a roll~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊶ Threats of rape, non-con sexual content  
> ⊶ Violence  
> 

You walked through the long dim hallways, coming past an occasional wall lamp that lit up the tall white walls almost blindingly. You don't know why you felt nervous this time as you made you way toward your usual training arena. You knew you were getting close when you could start to sense the faint presence of Ulquiorra waiting for you. There didn't seem to be anyone else around, and it made you relax just a little.

It wasn't long before you arrived at the wide stone training arena. Ulquiorra was standing in the centre, as he usually did. From where you were, you could see his left eye, which was missing entirely from his head a short while ago, was already regenerated. You marveled internally at how quickly he was able to recover such an injury, and you were reminded again at the difference in strength between you both. It took you two whole days to heal a bite in your neck, and he was able to regenerate an entire eye in under an hour.  
Ulquiorra said nothing as you approached him, he just continued to stand with his hands in his pockets, staring at you with his intense green stare. You knew what to do by now.  
You unsheathed your sword and brandished it. In a flash, you had appeared behind him. You raised your blade and brought it down fiercely. As expected, Ulquiorra had barely turned around when he put his arm out to block your strike. You felt a pang; sadness, disappointment, defeat. But it was short-lived as it was quickly replaced by a burning fire. Frustration, anger, determination. You had barely pulled your sword off from against his arm when you had brought it down again. You felt a spike in your Reiryoku, and as you landed your blow on his blocking arm, for the first time you felt his arm budge a mere millimetre, his feet bracing as they also slipped back from the force of your strike. You felt a sense of pride. With that one strike, you suddenly felt like you had broken through a threshold you couldn't get past before.  
Ulquiorra looked toward you, a quick flash of shock on his face, then his eyes softened. You felt a flutter in your stomach at the sight, but it didn't last long as he had his expression back to normal quickly enough. Looking like nothing of significance happened at all. You felt yourself about to get angry at him, when he spoke.

"You've gotten stronger." He turned slightly to face you. "I dislike knowing Grimmjows methods had worked in helping to bring out your strength."  
He adjusted his feet so his body was facing you properly, then he put a hand on the handle of his sheathed sword. 

"While I will not use the same tactics in our training, I will fight you with my weapon." He drew it slowly and pointed toward you. "You will be at a disadvantage in our fight, but I'll not be as forceful as he was."

You felt your cheeks flush at that last line, spoken softly almost as if to a lover, you thought. Though you may have been hearing things, thinking wishfully. You began wondering how he would sound speaking softly and sweetly to you.. Then movement.  
Ulquiorra had rushed at you, about to strike. You barely managed to block his strike. It sent a powerful shock through your arms and almost caused you to drop our sword.

"Do not get distracted." He said coldly. "If I had been an enemy, you would be dead."  
You cursed yourself for being stupid, letting your guard down. What was _wrong_ with you? You readied yourself and went in for a strike.

You spent many minutes trading blows against each others swords, the sound of steel against steel having echoed in your ears for so long it started to become white noise. You felt good though, clearly your ability with a sword had improved immensely. You knew he was holding back even now, but you didn't let it bother you. You let a smile hit your face as you reveled in the feeling of the fight. You felt stronger and it felt good. It was like your spiritual power was at a new level, making this fight seem easy. A real work out, but it didn't really feel like a challenge anymore the way your earlier training fights with Ulquiorra did. As if he'd read your mind, he suddenly struck down with much more force than before, feeling his Reiatsu increase slightly you caught a sense of a much stronger Reiryoku. You failed to block it properly since you had let your guard down. The tip of his sword grazed against your shoulder and you felt a sting of pain as it made a fresh slice in your skin. It felt warm as the fabric soaked up the blood that oozed out. There was less than you expected, a superficial wound.

"Well, that's not so bad." You chuckled nervously as you gave it a quick rub and brandished your sword again.

"I held back." Ulquiorra responded tersely. His eyes fixed on you, waiting for you to come at him again. This was when you noticed he had one hand still in his pocket. Your triumphant feeling was humbled quickly when you realised you were still putting so much more effort into your attacks than he was. It must have shown on your face.

"Don't feel discouraged." Ulquiorra assured monotonously. "You are making progress, and that can never be seen as a bad thing. I will continue to fight you at the level I just struck you with. You will learn to fight against it."

He had barely finished that sentence when he rushed towards you again. You didn't react quick enough and you took a hit in your shoulder, near the first cut. But you were able to block his second strike, and third, and fourth. You felt the difference though, and you weren't sure you could keep blocking them at this rate. He held his sword back, readying another strike at you. You saw an opening. You figured he had given it to you to take advantage of, but you didn't care. You focused your energy into your blade and thrust it towards his torso. You had second guessed for a moment, worried you would injure him, but you figured even this would obviously not make a cut into him. It didn't matter though. He had dodged it effortlessly, and now you were the one that was open. You felt his sword connect with your back, you were expecting more pain, but it was clear he held back again. It still knocked the wind out of you though as you fell forward. There was still enough force in that hit that you struggled to keep yourself from hitting the floor, the slight sting of a cut and the warmth of blood beginning in between your shoulder blades. You noticed some of your hair had been cut, as you watched a bunch of strands float lazily down to the floor near you. 

"Stand." Ulquiorra ordered. "Try again."

You must have spent a few hours fighting him. You'd managed to block a few more hits every time you tried, but he'd always end up striking you down. You kept feeling strength at the edge of your power, you would pour your energy into your blade hoping it would help you reach it, but it was always frustratingly out of reach, no matter how many times you called the name. You felt too exhausted to be able to get to it, this felt like the new limit of your strength. While it was much higher than before, you still felt angry with yourself. You were covered in cuts all over your torso and arms, a couple on your thighs and one on your calf. None of them very deep, as it seemed Ulquiorra was avoiding injuring you enough to warrant needing more recovery time. You figure these would all be healed overnight. You stood still, panting and inspecting your bloodied and cut up clothes. You wondered how many sets of clothing they kept, since you would clearly be needing a new set every day at this rate.  
You had let your guard down again, a bad habit you needed to break. You saw a flash of movement, then suddenly green eyes were in right front of you, inches from your face. You had barely reacted before you saw the flash of his blade, felt a sting across your chest and you were knocked backwards. You took a moment to process what happened. You lifted your head to find Ulquiorra standing over you, his sword pressed to your throat, his piercing jade stare looking down at you. You saw his eyes move down, and you noticed your shirt was cut open. Not as much as Grimmjow had done, but enough for the hollow hole near your throat to be visible. You felt the tip of his blade slide down gently and touch the edges of it. He looked deep in thought for a moment, and you thought he might have looked like he was considering thrusting his blade into it. A quick flash of something lewd crossed your mind and you felt hot in your cheeks.

"That's enough for today." Ulquiorra stated, sheathing his sword in one swift motion before returning his hand to his pocket. He tore his eyes off your chest and looked back at into your eyes. You looked him up and down as you got to your feet; he didn't look any different from when you first met with him here today. He hadn't even broken a sweat. His clothes weren't crinkled from moving around, despite how many times he used his sonido and swung his sword in the last hours. And here you were, bloodied and bruised, clothes in tatters again, barely catching your breath. All you could do was laugh.

"I guess I better get to the infirmary then." You said with a sigh, getting to your feet.

"I will escort you." Ulquiorra stated. He turned to walk out of the arena and you took a stumbling step to catch up as you sheathed your own sword at your hip. You didn't get very far when Grimmjows spiritual pressure growled from behind you, the suddenness of it making you gasp, your skin stung and pricked from it. It felt angry, smug, just a hint of violent. Ulquiorra stopped and turned slightly, giving him a cold side-eyed stare behind you. 

"Looks like you're having fun." Grimmjow grinned, but you sensed a tinge of jealousy, annoyance. It seems his request to have you as his Fraccion was rejected, and he wasn't happy about you still being left to Ulquiorra. After all, you weren't _his_ Fraccion either, but somehow he had priority over you. At least that was how Grimmjow perceived it.  
He'd given you a look up and down and licked a canine he had bared in his signature predatory grin. That's the only word you could ever think to describe him with in your mind. Everything about him just screamed... _predator_. You rolled your eyes at him and crossed your arms. You felt less afraid of him when Ulquiorra was around. Now that you knew he was the Cuatro Espada, you were confident that the Sexta wouldn't try anything in his presence.  
Grimmjow had one arm resting lazily on the hilt of his sword, the other was stuffed in his pocket. He took a slow lazy step toward you.

"Looks like you didn't get that _release_ you wanted though." He taunted. "Not surprising, I doubt Ulquiorra even has the fucking balls to try get down and dirty with you."  
You felt Ulquiorras Reiatsu increase slightly, as if it were a warning for Grimmjow to back down. It went ignored by the latter though, and he continued to take steps towards you, raising his own to match it. You felt both their Reiatsu push against each other in an angry tension, strong spiritual power filling the arena. It made your already exhausted body feel weaker. It felt strange to feel Ulquiorras Reiatsu so clearly, it was normally kept low and in check, never raising unless he wanted it to. It was so different from Grimmjows, and you sensed there may have been much more power behind it that wasn't revealed. While Grimmjows presence oozed violence along with power, Ulquiorras was hard to read, like his face. It seemed to just be power and nothing else, maybe a _slight_ intent of harm.

"Not me though. I've got fucking _huge_ balls. Wanna see?" Grimmjow growled, giving a quick, smug chuckle. "You already know I just _take_ what I want. I ain't afraid to-"  
As he spoke, had lifted his hand out of his pocket and was extending it as if to grab your face, but found it had been stopped by Ulquiorras hand just inches from you, cutting his sentence off. You noticed Grimmjows other hand tighten slightly on the handle of his sword, as if expecting a fight. 

"The fuck do you think you're doing?" He sighed loudly. "Get your fucking bitch hands off me." He shook free of Ulquiorras grip and took a step back.

"I am under orders from Lord Aizen to protect her from you." Ulquiorra said firmly. "Your methods are too forceful, and they're disgusting. If you feel the need to let frustrations out, I'm sure you have a Fraccion already who can accommodate those needs." 

This seemed to hit a nerve with Grimmjow. You weren't sure why, you were certain he's heard worse things, but because they came from Ulquiorra, they made his head hot. To him, Ulquiorra, of all people, had come between him and his prey. And that was unacceptable. His disdain for the Fourth seemed unrivaled. His eyes grew wild, he had unsheathed his sword in a blink and made a strike at Ulquiorra, who blocked it effortlessly. For the brief moment that Ulquiorra was left open, Grimmjow had shoved his hand against the formers chest. A blast came at close range from his palm, and it knocked Ulquiorra back a step, but otherwise he seemed unphased. You recognised it as a Bala.

"I tired of this." Ulquiorra sighed, nonchalantly. He turned to walk away, motioning you to follow. Before you had a chance to move, Grimmjow had launched himself at you both and was immediately blown backwards across the arena with a swift swing of Ulquiorras arm, and a loud crashing sound. You felt a high spike in Ulquiorras spiritual power that nearly made your legs weak and your head dizzy. It was _powerful_. You looked to where Grimmjow had landed, a pile of rocks and dust, a whole carved out in the pillar where he had clearly hit. You couldn't see him, but you knew he was there since you still sensed his presence. His Reiatsu was much lower than it was a few seconds ago though, and you felt Ulquiorras pressure dominate it for a moment before it faded back into it's usual calm and controlled level. He turned to walk away, without a glance at you, knowing already that you would follow.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are escorted back to your quarters after assuring Ulquiorra you didn't need the infirmary after all.  
> You try to get some more conversation from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊶ More light angst  
> ⊶ Hurt and _kinda_ comfort  
> ⊶ TENSION

You were walking behind Ulquiorra after your training session. Your mind was reeling over the power he showed against Grimmjow when he had shown up with an attitude. You guessed Ulquiorra had no patience for him today. He had been silent since then. You wondered if maybe he wanted to be alone. He has spent all day with you, training you. Then he had to deal with someone else he clearly found distasteful. He must have been exhausted as well, despite not looking it.

"You know.." You began to say, as you trailed behind him. "I think I'm okay, I mean. I don't think I need the infirmary after all."

Ulquiorra stopped and gave you a sideways glance over his shoulder. He said nothing.

"I mean." You stammered. "It doesn't look like any of these cuts are very deep. So, um.. _thank you_ for that... um. I guess."  
You felt stupid talking to him. He still didn't say anything, he just kept looking at you. You felt a pit in your stomach. You realised he had already walked you most of the way to the infirmary, and now you were telling him he didn't need to. 

"It's fine!" You quickly added. "I can walk back to my room on my own. I guess you have things to do anyway, so I guess.. I'll let you get back to them. Thank you, for the training today."

You bowed your head. You hated how many times you said 'I guess' just now. You were suddenly talking like you had nothing in your head. You had dropped your gaze from Ulquiorras stare, red in your cheeks, feeling sheepish.

"I have nothing to do." He finally said. "I can escort you back to your quarters."  
He turned right around to walk back the other way, and you noticed a singed tear in the top of his jacket, the result of the seemingly pathetic attack Grimmjow had landed on him. Your eyes were immediately drawn to the pale skin on his throat, and you caught sight of a hollow hole partially visible just above where the fabric was torn away. You breath caught in your throat, and your hand instinctively went to the hole in your own chest, giving it a light touch. His looked like it was in the same place as yours. Ulquiorra looked at you for only a second before facing forward and making a start in that direction. You stood for a moment. You couldn't get the sight of his hollow hole out of your head, and your memory flipped back to the first time Grimmjow saw it. His disgust. You realise you must have reminded him of Ulquiorra. You snapped out of it, taking a few quick steps to close the distance between the two of you, following behind him. You both walked silently the rest of the way. 

The first thing you noticed when you entered your room was a fresh set of clothing folded on your bed. 

"I had arranged a new set be brought here for when you were finished training." His voice came from behind you. 

You stood for a moment, looking down at the clothes, deep in thought. You caught your reflection in the mirror from the corner of your eye. You looked into it, you could see yourself, and Ulquiorra standing behind you in the doorway. You could plainly see both of your hollow holes.

"Is this why you dislike me?" You asked, not turning around, your hand raised at your chest. 

Ulquiorras reflection looked at you.

"I do not dislike you." He spoke after a silent moment. It was an unexpected answer, but you were glad to hear it. A flush in your cheeks. "I had told you before there was no problem. I take no issue with you."

You turned to look at him. You tried your hardest to give him the same hard, but blank expression he always gave you. You stared for a while. _So much green.._ you thought to yourself. It felt like an eternity passed, as you both just stared at each other without saying a word. It was probably just a couple seconds, really. Though you reckoned you wouldn't have any qualms about having to look at those eyes forever. A warmth started behind your bellybutton and you felt your chest and cheeks get hot. 

"There are times you look at me the way Grimmjow looks at you." He finally stated, breaking the long silence. He took a single step forward as he said it, your door finally closing.  
You were both left looking at each other in your dimly lit room, the light from the hallways quelled by the now closed door. You felt a flush of embarrassment as your stomach dropped. You weren't sure how to respond, it seemed to come from nowhere, but it was clearly something that had been on his mind. You dropped your gaze to the floor. You couldn't look at him now that he's said that. You felt gross and wrong, and ashamed. You felt a pinch in your chest. You didn't always like the way Grimmjow looked at you, it made you feel uncomfortable, and it annoyed you. You didn't like the idea of possibly making Ulquiorra uncomfortable or annoyed when you looked at him during those few times you didn't keep your thoughts in check while looking at him. 

"I'm sorry." You said softly. "I don't really understand it myself, but I don't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I am not uncomfortable." He said. You raised your head at him in surprise. A shot of heat ran up your stomach as you heard him say it. His expression betrayed nothing about how he was feeling. You wished it would, though. Now _you_ were the one feeling uncomfortable. You didn't know why he brought it up. 

"Well." Your voice cracked. "I know it makes _me_ feel uncomfortable when _he_ does it.. and it makes me annoyed and angry."

"I am not annoyed." He added, flatly. 

You scoffed as you threw your head back, pressing your hands to your forehead and turning your body away from him. _What was he trying to do?!_ you thought as you felt your eyes watering in frustration. You felt so small. You were too exhausted to handle this right now. You knew he was still looking at you, but you didn't know how to respond. Was he taunting you? Was he going to laud it over you that you're as disgusting as Grimmjow? That you were some degenerate? Did it not bother him because he cared so little about you to begin with? 

"Well!" You scoffed again, your voice shaking a little, dropping your arms to your sides with a slump. "I don't know what you want me to do about it. I don't know _what_ to do about it."

You turned back to face him, and jumped slightly at the sight of him so close to you. He had walked closer as you turned away, you figured. His eyes weren't on yours though. He was looking down at the hollow hole in your collarbone. His hand had left his pocket and was hovered just above it, the tips of his fingers millimetres from making contact with the skin at the edge. Your breath became heavy, almost panting. He'd never been this close to you without an intent to harm you before. At least you _hoped_ he had none right now. It was rather exhilarating, in a terrifying way.  
You looked at his face. For the first time, you saw a softer expression across it, just barely. His eyes looked less intense, almost as if he was deep in thought again. You swallowed a lump in your throat, your mouth was dry. You felt hot in your cheeks, excitement and tension building in your stomach behind your bellybutton. You couldn't keep any of it in check at all this time, not with him so tantalizingly close right now, and you felt a tremble in your body. You felt his fingers touch the skin on your throat, and you let out a small, involuntary moan, which you caught before it became too audible.  
Didn't matter. He had heard it. His eyes shot back up at yours, his pupils dilated slightly for only a split second, and you saw his lips part as if he meant to say something. He didn't though, and he closed them again, regaining a neutral expression. His eyes seemed to pierce into you, and had to look away. You found yourself staring at his lips, the one black one set so contrasted and obvious, like it was _asking_ to be kissed. You steeled yourself as best you could, and took a step toward him. He didn't move his hand away, letting it slide to the side of your neck as you moved within barely an inch of him. You felt his thumb brush against your throat. It sent a thrill through you like a shock-wave. You had often imagined him touching you, but it felt so much more intense for real.

His green eyes stared down at you. His usual unreadable expression. But you didn't care, you loved those eyes regardless. They were your favourite colour.  
His thumb made another gentle brush against your throat and you tilted your head back to expose it to him. His fingers made a grip on your neck as you did, and you let out a soft groan, closing your eyes. You felt his fingers tighten in response to that, his thumb moved across to the other side of your neck and he squeezed. You felt a dizziness. Your mind flashed back to the strength he showed when he fought Grimmjow. You knew it wasn't even _half_ of what he was really capable of. It felt dangerous. But you stopped caring moments ago. He knew how you felt. There was nothing you could do about that anymore. But you didn't know how _he_ felt. 

You were entirely at his mercy now.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your tension had built up.  
> You needed a way to release it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊶ More tension and angst  
> ⊶ Some non-con  
> ⊶ _Slightly_ public sexual encounter  
> ⊶ Slightly graphic descriptions of violence

You felt helpless and vulnerable in Ulquiorras grasp, but you liked it.  
His hand tightly on your throat, squeezing firmly enough to make your vision begin to darken in a lustful daze, but not enough to stop you from breathing. 

"Are you angry?" You asked softly, your pulse heightening, a shoot of adrenaline as you met his stare. You recalled that he hadn't said he wasn't.

"Not with you." He responded coldly, and he let his grip loosen. He pulled his hand away and put it back in his pocket, turning to move a few steps away from you.  
It took everything you had to hold back from reaching out and stopping him. You stood in a slight daze, looking at the back of him. You felt a wet heat had pooled between your legs, a pleasurable coil of tension behind your bellybutton was sending sporadic shoots of adrenaline through your abdomen. You breath was heavy and you were trembling uncontrollably. The place on your neck where his hand had been felt cold in its absence, and you yearned for it to return. You regretted asking anything, now that you knew it made him retreat from you. You shook your head, closing your eyes tightly as you tried to shoo away everything you felt in this moment. 

"As fascinating as they may be, these feelings are a distraction." He said firmly, snapping you back to reality. "Realising Lord Aizens plans is the first priority, there is no use for such feelings here. Therefore they must be ignored."

You wondered who he was really addressing when he said that. He wasn't angry with _you_. Was he angry at himself?  
Did he feel the same things as you did? Did he think of you the same you did of him?  
You closed your eyes and dropped you head. A quick flash of an image invaded your mind; one of him lying back on his bed after leaving you to recover your previous wounds, having just heard your lustful noises. One arm behind his head, the other resting along his bare abdomen as he softly palmed and kneaded his groin through the fabric of his hakama.  
No, you brushed the thought away quickly. He wouldn't act that way. Even if he did, he probably had about as much control over it as you did. _That_ is why he's angry, you concluded. He did not want to think such things about you, you were nothing to him. You felt a disappointment in your chest.  
You opened your eyes and looked back up, as you were suddenly aware how alone you were. Ulquiorra was gone, he had left your room without another word. You were too deep in your own self loathing that you hadn't noticed. Not even a trace of his presence lingered, meaning he was long gone by now. Of course he was. Right now, you were no better to him than Grimmjow.

_Grimmjow._

You thought back to him. A different kind of heat shot through you. It was not quite the same as the one you felt for Ulquiorra.  
Your mind recalled the hard clutch he had on your bare thigh. The time in the arena when he had you so vulnerably against the pillar walls. His intense predatory aura. It somehow called to you, and you felt a primal response to it from your core. You made up your mind and left your room. You didn't bother changing out of your torn and bloodied clothes.

You had walked through the halls of Las Noches for what felt like hours. Head spinning, your body ached in such an unfamiliar way. That single touch from Ulquiorra had sparked something so wild inside of you, the same way Grimmjow had done days earlier, but somehow so much stronger. Small flashes of him invaded your thoughts, his deep jade green eyes, but you spitefully brushed them away in favour of the wild blue. You were angry at him, he had left you alone after igniting such a flame in you. You were angry at yourself that you had replaced him in your mind with Grimmjow, knowing he would gladly bask in that flame. A part of you was disgusted.

You had subconsciously picked up on Grimmjows spiritual pressure near the training arena and headed there without thinking. It seemed like he didn't leave after your run in earlier. You felt rage and violence in it, hearing the sound of bangs and explosions. He must be letting off steam. Good, you thought when you noticed. It's what you wanted to do now too. You arrived in the arena; rubble still lay on one side at the site where he'd landed after being violently struck away from you earlier. There was more on the other side now too as you watched him fire crimson shot after crimson shot in quick succession at the pillars around him. You felt a hitch in your breath as you caught his eye.  
He straightened out and let his Reiatsu intensify at the sight of you, flexing a large amount of his Reiryoku. That signature predatory feeling had you surrounded, dominated, and you immediately began to regret coming here. But you kept a stoic stance as best you could, giving him a cold, blank stare; trying not to let your body betray your feelings and thoughts to him as he walked toward you, arrogance in his stride.  
You felt like Ulquiorra.. _No! Fuck._  
You made a sharp, annoyed inhale through your nose as you straightened your back and puffed out your chest. The flash of hunger in Grimmjows eyes in response to that made your knees feel weak. You suddenly felt terrified, you had made a mistake coming here. He was going to destroy you, and Ulquiorra was nowhere near to be able to save you if things got bad. You didn't have time to dwell on it too much, as you flinched. Grimmjow sensed the unease in you and was now only a few inches away from you, a wide hungry grin had spread across his face.

"Baby _bird.._ " He purred, but with a venom in his voice. "Where is mama bird?"  
You inhaled deeply as you tried to calm yourself. Grimmjows Reiatsu had been slowly rising the whole time, his Reiryoku gaining in intensity. 

"Does he even _know_ you're here? Gone behind his back, huh?" He's answered his own question immediately with a laugh, as if it was written on your face. 

You felt a sudden pain on your neck again, as Grimmjow had planted a hand onto it so fast you didn't even see it travel. You wished you never came here. That warm urge you felt earlier was completely replaced by fear. He felt dangerous, but not in the way you liked. _Like with Ulquiorra.._  
Your vision blackened as you felt his grip squeeze the air out of you. You whimpered, and he took it as an invitation. You felt teeth sink into your lip again as Grimmjow took you into a violent kiss, his tongue had invaded your mouth hungrily, exploring every where. All you could taste was your own blood. You felt your consciousness dip for a second, and when you came too, his hand had let go of your neck and was gripped at the back of your head. You were lying against a large slab of rubble, pinned under him. Your tattered clothes had been torn mostly off, your whole torso now completely exposed to him. You held your hands against his shoulders, as if making to push him away, but not quite committing to the action.  
He had let your mouth be free of his, and you gasped for air as he made another harsh bite into your neck. It was painful and you knew there would be a lot of blood again. His grip on you had moved to your hips, digging his nails in, drawing even more blood. You felt the skin of his abdomen pressed to yours, his sweat stinging in the small cuts you were already covered in, and you felt a pressure against you, between your hips.  
Suddenly you were overcome with sensation as the heat in your belly returned with a force as you felt your legs forced open. Your fear had all but vanished as it was replaced with that primal urge you felt earlier. Your hips bucked involuntarily into his. He made a harsh, satisfied groan in his throat that vibrated against your skin. You threw your head back as you felt him lap hungrily at your skin, he tasted blood. He licked and sucked at the new wounds he'd made on your neck and throat. Your eyes rolled back and you let him grope at your body, biting and licking all over you, careful to avoid the hole in your collarbone. Everything was happening so fast, it was dizzying. You reveled in the feeling of his thrusts against you, letting a moan escape you, feeling the growing bulge between his legs, the fabric of both your pants creating a pleasant friction. Your eyes closed and the sight of Ulquiorra was stuck to the back of your eyelids. You felt an unpleasant knot in your stomach, and you began to push Grimmjow away. He sat up suddenly, taken aback by your sudden unwillingness again, despite having given into him just moments before. He didn't get off you though, so you grunted and pushed him away harder. You felt him let you. He seemed too bewildered for a moment, perhaps the lack of blood in his brain.  
You stumbled out from under him and stood up, crossing your arms over your chest, the tatters of your flared white sleeves doing a good enough job of covering you.

"Where the _fuck_ are _you_ going?!" Grimmjow had roared at you. You braced for an attack, but none came. You walked away from him, not saying anything. The weight of his body against your hips left a tender feeling that made you limp slightly. 

You felt spent, your exhaustion was immediately felt once the rush of everything that had happened today finally wore off. Your body stung and ached as the pain of all your wounds finally set in. You focused on it. You deserved to feel this. You were a degenerate, just like Grimmjow. You looked ahead of you. You were in the long corridors again, you seemed far enough away from the training arena that you didn't feel Grimmjows presence anymore. _Why hadn't he come after you?_ You wondered. Surely he wasn't done with you yet, there was no way he would have just let his prey leave.  
You looked down at yourself. Your clothes were even more torn now. There were more scratches and bites in your skin than you had realised, and a lot of them were deep, scattered among the shallow cuts you got from training. It would take some time for them to heal again, meaning you would not be able to train again for at least a day.

 _Ah._ It clicked. Grimmjow didn't need to chase you. He may not have gotten entirely what he wanted, but he'd gotten enough. He knew eventually Ulquiorra would find you in this state, and know that he had gotten to you despite orders from Lord Aizen to make sure he didn't. He may have lost that battle, but he won the war.

You were almost to your room, about to turn a corner when you felt a presence that made your stomach drop. A wave of guilt washed over you.  
You shambled around the corner, with barely the energy to keep yourself upright. You made shameful eye contact with Ulquiorra, who was standing in the hall between you and the door to your room.

His stare bore into you. You almost thought he looked sad.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're wounded and weak.  
> You just want a bath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊶ Angst, self loathing  
> ⊶ Injuries and wounds  
> ⊶ TENSION TENSION TENSION  
> ⊶ Blood bath [literally]

You had dropped your gaze to the floor, looking at the shiny black tiles under your feet. You could see Ulquiorras dark reflection in them at the top of your vision, and you strained to avoid looking directly there. You felt such a horrible pang of guilt, knowing how you looked. Aizen was sure to find out, and you didn't know what would happen to him because of it. Whatever it is, it would be your fault.  
You took a slow step forward, letting your feet guide you past him as you headed toward the door for your room.

"You need to go to the infirmary." He had spoken so sharply, it almost echoed off the tall walls in the hallway. You didn't stop though, you didn't respond. You could already feel your voice would be caught if you tried. A mix of exhaustion, pain, anger, sadness and shame had you ensnared. You continued walking with your head down to avoid his eyes, holding yourself as though you would otherwise come apart at all the wounds. 

You felt his grip on your arm. Firm enough to stop you from moving, but not enough to hurt. 

"I don't want to." You answered softly, almost in a whisper. He didn't say anything to argue you, but his hold on you didn't loosen either. 

"Ulquiorra.." You pleaded softly. "I just want to be alone." 

You felt him hesitate for a moment, then he loosened his grip and let you slip out of his hand and go into your room. The door closed behind you. He hadn't followed you in, but you still sensed him outside. You let your clothing fall off you, slipping delicately out of your boots. You walked behind the screen in the corner, and looked down at the rectangular bath that sat built into the ground. It was about as wide as your arm span, fit your body length ways when you stretched out your legs with room to spare, and was deep up to your hips when you stood. You had used it once or twice before, but you felt like you _really_ needed it now. You were were bleeding from almost everywhere, the smell of Grimmjow all over you. You let the bath fill with hot water, steam filling the room. You watched it fill as you let your exhaustion sink in. You normally weren't this drained and weak after training, and the wounds you received from Grimmjow, while deep and still oozing blood, weren't nearly bad enough to cause this amount of weakening. You felt weaker than last time, and you hadn't even used a huge amount of your spiritual power this time. You felt another pang of frustration. But you realised that must be what it was. You were hollow for so long. Maybe millennia now, emotions were not something you were used to feeling anymore; you were overwhelmed by your own mind. You were surprised how much you even felt, but it made sense, you thought. Becoming an Arrancar, you also recovered your human form. The idea of recovering even a fragment of your long lost humanity didn't seem infeasible. You felt _so_ overwhelmed. You noticed you didn't even have the energy to feel anything aside from guilt when you recalled facing Ulquiorra minutes before. You didn't even care that you felt his presence still outside your door. 

You draped a sheet over the screen and lowered yourself into the bath, eyes closed, the heat of the water immediately soothing your aches and calming your mind. It reached your shoulders as you slumped down on a submerged ledge, and it felt like a warm blanket enveloping you. You felt sleep come on and you welcomed it as you leaned back to rest your head against the edge.

It was a dreamless sleep, apparently you were too drained even for sleep.  
You opened your eyes, feeling groggy. You must have been out for a while. The water you were in was stained a dark red from all the blood that had come off you. You weren't surprised at that though, you had a lot of fresh deep scratches and bites in your skin, none of which had been tended to yet. You were surprised to feel how hot the water still felt though. 

You heard a knock at your door. Your stomach jumped. You didn't feel anyone's presence anymore. You were about to answer, but you hesitated, wondering if you heard a phantom knock.  
A few seconds passed in silence, and you heard the door open. It was only then did you feel the familiar presence in your room. You heard a few soft footsteps and you instinctively pulled your arms into your chest to cover yourself, the water making a splash as you did so.

"I have brought you bandages." 

Ulquiorras voice was stern but quiet. You felt a warmth not related to the water wash over you. You felt relieved to hear him. And you felt relieved that you had energy to feel anything again. The guilt also returned, along with an anger at him as well.

"Your wounds still need to be tended to." His voice continued. "But since you will not go to the infirmary, you can make sure to tend them yourself."  
You heard his soft footsteps again and the sound of your door opening.

"Why are you leaving..." You had asked softly without thinking, but it sounded more like a statement than a question. You felt yourself begin to tremble in anxiousness. 

"You had requested to be alone." Came his flat reply. "And I have completed my task here, there is no reason for me to stay."

"I know I won't do it myself." You confessed, your voice beginning to shake. "If you leave I will stay in this bath until I die. That's all I want to do. That's all I _feel_ right now."  
There was a few seconds of silence before you heard the sound of your door close, the presence didn't fade though. You felt a tiny flush of excitement, more guilt, more anger.

"There is no use in feeling that way." He said. For some reason, it enraged you. You thought back to earlier, when he had told you the same thing after being the cause of such intense feelings you couldn't control.

"There isn't always a _fucking reason_ for feeling things!" You had turned yourself around in the water, your voice raised so loud you almost screamed at him through the opaque screen. "There doesn't always _need_ to be a reason for feeling things!"

"And that is why you decide to do foolish things!" His voice was suddenly raised in anger. He wasn't yelling quite as loudly or angrily as you, but it was still the loudest and harshest you'd ever heard him be. But it didn't deter you for long, his words just fueled your own rage.

"Well I wouldn't have even _decided_ to leave my room if you hadn't _toyed_ with me to start with!" You sounded like a petulant child, but you didn't care. Your face burned as you flushed from head to toe in anger. You'd felt guilty about everything before, but the way he seemed to brush off how you've felt along the way just rubbed you the wrong way.  
Your room was deafeningly silent. Neither of you had said anything else for a long time. You slumped back into the water, expecting to hear his footsteps, the opening of your door and feel his presence fading down the halls. But you didn't hear anything. His Reiatsu was still there, but something felt tense about it. You stared for a while at the screen, as if you would be able to see through if it looked long enough. You reached an arm out and moved it aside a bit. Looking past it, you caught sight of Ulquiorra facing your door, his head looked like it was hanging. His hands weren't in his pockets; one was hanging by his side and the other looked bent in front of him as he had a hand to his chest. You felt a tug in your own.

"You didn't mean me, did you.." You realised.  
Your decision to seek out Grimmjow in the heat of your rage was indeed a foolish decision, and one that you had instantly regretted. But the one Ulquiorra made in his pride, to ignore his feelings in an attempt to avoid feeling like something less evolved, had been what lead you to seek out danger in the first place. Being the reason for your current hurt, mental and physical. It was something he regretted deeply.

You sensed him relax ever so slightly. If you weren't so attuned to what his Reiatsu felt like from having spent so much time training with him, you probably wouldn't have even noticed the difference in the first place, as even now he still kept so much control over how it manifested. He straightened up and walked toward the desk where he had placed the fresh bandages for you. He removed the scabbard of his sword from his hakama and laid it across the desk. He picked up the bandages, along with a towel and what looked like a salve. Then he turned to face you, walking them over towards the bath. His stare held yours, expressionless. Nothing about his face showed that anything happened a minute ago. You couldn't tell how he felt, you couldn't tell what he thought. You felt another flush in your cheeks and you pressed yourself closer to the edge of the tub, hiding your body from him. Feeling a little thankful for the combination of dim light and blood in the water, it made the water look almost black. He knelt down in front of you at the edge of the bath, he placed the supplies onto the ledge near where your arms rested. While the bath was built into the floor, it was raised just enough that the ledge seemed to double as a table if you were on your knees. He broke your gaze and looked down, unraveling a bandage.

"If you can't tend your wounds, I will help." He said softly. His gaze avoided yours as he lifted your left arm and dried it gently with a towel, dabbing at the wounds in an attempt to slow their bleeding. You watched his face as you felt him slowly apply salve to a deep scratch near your shoulder, proceeding to wrap a bandage around it. You knew he was aware of your staring, but he hid it well. He held pressure on your wound as he made sure the wrapping was tight enough. 

"It was my duty to protect you." He added, with a sigh, clearly annoyed with himself. "To keep you from feeling distress, and I failed in both of those things."

The guilt returned again. You turned your arm around, your bicep feeling resistance from the pressure he had around it. His eyes moved to yours quickly, he was caught off guard for a moment. You touched a hand gently on the side of his face, your finger tips grazing his cheek, tracing the mark that fell from his eye to his jaw. His face didn't waiver. 

"I should have had more self control." You told him softly. "All of this wouldn't be happening if I just had-"  
Your words caught in your throat. You felt a lump you couldn't swallow, your eyes watered. You felt as if a wall had just broken in your chest and a giant wave of guilt and despair washed down on you. It was like you never realised it until you began to say it out loud. But it was true, if you had just been able to control yourself more; you wouldn't be in this situation. If only you didn't let your guard down all the time, if only you didn't always challenge Grimmjow, if only you just kept your thoughts in check, if only you just ignored those distractions, if only.. if only.. if only.. So many things passed your mind. It was too late now.  
You had been crying hard into one of your arms. You felt your other arm still in Ulquiorras hands, one around your wrist and one under your elbow as you felt him motion to lift you out of the bath. You reacted naturally, and stood up with him, trying to stop your crying. The sudden coldness on your skin was a shock after being in such hot water. You wiped your face and looked into his eyes. They were fixed into yours. You felt the familiar warmth in your stomach as you looked into their colour. 

"You need rest." He said sternly as he took the sheet hanging from the screen and offered it to you to wrap yourself in. You reached to take it instinctively, but in a sudden decision, you aimed your hand past the sheet and rested it on his wrist. 

_This is one of those foolish decisions_ , you thought. But you didn't care anymore.  
You took a step back as you tightened your grip, pulling his arm toward you. You felt resistance for only a second. It only took a single second for him to settle his internal conflict, and give in to something you were now sure he was trying to ignore in himself. You looked into his eyes, you felt your own becoming hooded and your cheeks flushed. You had stepped back into the water, the heat hitting your hips and adding to the already pooling heat you felt between them, you skin covered in goosebumps. You continued to pull his wrist towards you, his stare was slightly wide, and there seemed to be a tinge of uncertainty in his expression. He had stepped into the water without hesitation though. He hadn't take anything off, and his white hakama had already completely soaked through, becoming slightly red from the blood in the water. It didn't feel like it, but you've clearly lost a lot of blood while you soaked in the bath.  
His hand touched the side of your face, his thumb traced the remnants of your feather shaped mask. You leaned your face towards his and closed your eyes, letting your lips brush against his. You felt his hand snake its way to the back of your head, taking a fist full of hair as it went. You couldn't help but let out a moan, and you heard his breath catch in his throat briefly, his fingers tightening in your hair. Your body was trembling in anticipation, the dark red water not deep enough to obscure everything where you stood bare before him. He stepped forward, forcing you backwards until you felt your back hit the opposite ledge of the bath. You had your hands against him, gripping lightly at the still dry fabric on his chest. You reached for the zipper at his neck and began to unzip his jacket, revealing the hole under his throat fully to you for the first time. His number 4 tattoo sitting just lower on his left pectoral. You ran your fingernail down the ink, and he let go of you, letting his unzipped jacket fall of his shoulders and slip lazily into the water around him, slowly staining in red as it became waterlogged and fell away. Sinewy muscle lined his pale frame, he was very slender, but still looked built as though he could physically overpower almost anyone. He faced you with his head tilted forward, the horned tip of his mask looked longer from that angle, his green eyes fixed up and ahead to meet yours, under dark, serious brows. Looking at him in this context, the marks down his cheeks almost make him look like he had cried tears of blood, and his bare, pale skin almost glowed in the dim light, contrasting against the dark bloody water around him. He looked _devilish_ , and it made your core hot as you felt that primal urge return. His eyes traveled down your body, exploring everything that he could with his sharp gaze. You braced yourself against the edge of the bath as you felt the familiar heat tear through your insides, a burning coil behind your bellybutton that sent shivers and adrenaline through you. An electric shock, and pooling between your thighs, you felt yourself get slick with heat. You bit your lip in a breathy moan, as your gaze traced from his hips, his arms by his side, the tight muscles in his ribs, the hole in his chest. You felt a tug at your own as you let your eyes roam back up to meet his, the stare he gave you was intense, a penetrating green. He looked like he might have been fighting himself again. 

You felt a sudden firm impact; he'd closed the distance between you both in a blink, sending hot water to shift and spill over the ledge behind you. His left arm was wrapped tightly around your waist, his right hand having snaked it's way back into the hair in the base of your head, pulling your head back as he crashed his mouth into yours. He kissed you with a passion that felt deep and young, taking your lip between his teeth as his tongue traced it, asking for permission to enter your mouth. You made a gasp and he took his chance, his tongue lashed into your mouth, and you welcomed it with your own. You felt skin on skin as his was pressed into yours. Your hands had found their way to his head. Your left hand finding purchase above his jaw, fingers combing through his hair. Your right arm rested on his shoulder, elbow bent as your fingers wrapped around the horn protruding from his mask. You were wrapped tightly around each other in a close embrace, pressing hard into one another as if trying to be absorbed by each other. The hollow holes in your chests coming close together. His hips pressed against yours, commanding, and you melted and gave in to their demands as you allowed yourself to be lifted up effortlessly and set on the ledge of the bath. Water ran off your body and you felt a shock of cold air, your cuts and scratches stinging. His hips met yours at the edge of the bath as he braced himself on the submerged ledge and you took the chance to wrap your thighs around his waist, the slickness between your legs feeling friction on the waistband of his hakama. He slowly licked places on your neck, letting the cold hit before planting firm, hot kisses to them, softly sucking on the skin, avoiding the already split and bruised skin you had there. Even as his hands explored your body, he was avoiding touching the worst of your wounds so you didn't feel their pain. You wondered if it was for your benefit, or his own. After all, they were not marks that _he_ had given you.  
Everything seemed to be happening in a dizzying, pleasurable slow motion. Every movement he made, every kiss, lick, nip, caress, grip, every thrust of his hips, every dig of his fingers, every thing he did felt _controlled_ , purposeful and incredibly sensual. His expression restrained and he kept silent apart from his breathing, which had become loud and heavy, but steady, another thing he kept controlled. He took long deep breaths in, and let them out just as slowly in a heavy sigh every time, sounding as though he were locked in a trance. It made your entire body tremble, and you felt a tug at your core, shoots of pleasure took over you as you focused on every bit of contact he made with his fingers and lips all over your skin. His skin felt electric and sharp, as if he was focusing his spiritual energy into every touch. You were drunk on the feeling of everything he did, both gentle _and_ firm, and definitely less selfish than what you felt with Grimmjow. You had been mindlessly groping at him the whole time, your breath hitching as you moaned and panted with impatience, grabbing at his head, his mask, his neck, his arms, the hole in his chest, the muscles in his back, his slowly thrusting hips. You caught the waistband of his soaked hakama and began undoing it.  
He slipped out of them easily as he lifted himself up out of the water, knees planted between your thighs as you spread your legs for him, reddened water falling off him and all around you. He wrapped his arms around you again, laying you down on your back. You felt the wet tile under you, and as he lowered himself onto you, you felt the hardness of his length press into the inside of your thigh. He had an arm under your lower back, arching your hips towards himself, the biceps flexed deliciously as he held himself above you. The back of his other hand ran up the inside of your thighs, and he dragged a knuckle close to your core. His eyes were locked onto yours, it looked like the amount of green in them halved as his irises were almost eclipsed by the darkness of his enlarged pupils, and he watched your face closely in a haze. There was a smear of blood on his cheek, and another along his shoulder and chest from where your wounds had bled on him. He looked so dangerous again, and you remembered how strong he was, the vision of him having swatted Grimmjow away earlier like he was nothing more than an annoying bug replayed in your mind.  
You made a whimper, bracing against the cold, hard tile as he dragged a thumb through the folds of your heat, sliding easily in the slickness up to rest against the swollen bundle of nerves at the top. You felt a powerful shock from your core. An undignified, lustful moan left your throat as you threw your head back against the floor, teeth clenching, eyes closed tightly, your body arching up against the touch. You felt your legs tremble and he used a firm grip to push your thigh out and down onto the tile, spreading your legs further apart. Your chest heaved, you groaned and whimpered. Looking back up at him, his stare hadn't left your face. You ached to be filled by him. You sat up to pull him into a kiss, grabbing him by the horn on the side of his head. 

You felt the hot head of his length just barely touch your wet entrance, your anticipation had grown unbearable, you shook uncontrollably and let out an exasperated moan as impatience took over. And then, nothing. You felt Ulquiorra suddenly stop all his movements, and he had silenced his breathing. You were about to say something, but you felt his hand come to your mouth, your head pushed down onto the tile, keeping you quiet.  
You looked up at him. His eyes were still locked onto yours, his shaggy hair falling around his face, but his expression had returned to his usual indifference. His mouth had closed, his pupils shrunken down to their normal size again. It was as if he had been broken out of his trance.  
Then the sound of Lord Aizens voice suddenly echoed through the entirety of Las Noches. _Tenteikura_ , you recognised, as it had been used once before when something urgent had happened. You felt a pang of despair. 

_"My Espada."_ Aizens voice boomed. _"We have been fortunate enough in one of our more recent endeavours, that we are finally able to begin with the next phase. I am requesting the immediate presence of all Espada 5 and above. We will discuss our next actions and you will all receive new orders."_

With that, the moment was all but ruined. Ulquiorra had already gotten himself up off of you and gathered his things together before you had even composed yourself enough to sit back up. His hakama were back on, soaked in water and blood, his dripping coat and sword in each hand. He said nothing as he gave you one quick glance out the corner of his eye before walking briskly out of your vision. You heard your door open, and then his presence was gone before your door had even began closing again.  
You sat for a moment in the cold, steamy air, the only trace of him left was the watery blood trails he left across your room alongside the dried ones you had left leading to the bath. A wet, cold puddle of blood and water under you at the edge of the bath. You stood up, legs weak at the joints. You still felt a warm, throbbing ember in your core, an echo of his touch. 

You wrapped your arms around yourself, and you were surprised to find you didn't feel any pain.

You looked down, your wounds had all stopped bleeding and had healed over, the worst of them from Grimmjow were nothing more than a slight red scar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am pretty high at the time of posting this chapter, I hope it came out alright!
> 
> I'll have to give it a proper proof-read when I wake up~
> 
> Update: It seems mostly fine to me!  
> Also yes, _I know_ , getting down and dirty in bloody bath water is gross as fuck but I just really had these morbid, gothy, sexy, Satanic, vampirey sorta vibes going last night since I was listening to the soundtrack for Devilman Crybaby when I was writing it, and a sporadic blood kink reared its ugly sexy head. Not even sorry, honestly. It's hot as fuck to me, I'm an edgy bitch.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another small chapter, I'm sorry! But we gotta address that elephant in the room before we continue ;3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊶ Emotional hurt  
> ⊶ Angst

Steam from the bath lightly fogged the mirror as you stared at yourself.  
Just mere moments before, you were bruised and beaten, bleeding heavily from so many deep wounds that you figured, at your current level of spiritual power, would take at least another couple days to heal. You had also been in a lustful entanglement you had never expected, drunk on excitement and passion, about to cross a dangerous threshold. 

And now, you stood naked in the dim light of your room, alone. Barely a trace of anything left on you to suggest any of it. You lightly brushed your fingers over your skin where only the faintest marks were left, and your mind remembered the feeling of being explored tenderly. You replayed the moments over and over in your head, the way he had kissed you, the way he had held you, the way he had touched you. You'd imagined it happening often, but the last thing you ever expected was to have any of those moments actualised. 

But now you were just left feeling confused, vulnerable and anxious. Tears began to fall silently down your cheek as a wave of despair washed over you. Ulquiorra was summoned away by Lord Aizen, he had no choice but to leave immediately. But he'd left so fast and without any word that you couldn't help but feel he was _relieved_ to be called away, thankful that an excuse to stop had presented itself. Frustration and anger nipped at your chest, the certainty you'd had earlier that he had the same feelings and urges as you did was suddenly burned away by the thought that he had merely acted to placate you after all. Maybe he thought you would just seek out Grimmjow again, and get yourself more hurt. After all, he was under strict orders to keep you from harm and distress, otherwise who knows what kind of repercussions would follow him if he failed. The thought only made you more angry, as it was another thing you just didn't understand.

Why had Lord Aizen taken such an interest in you? What potential did he think you had? You had shown countless times that you were unable to live up to his expectations; your Reiatsu was so small compared half of everyone here, and your Reiryoku was only higher than a small handful of other Fraccion, and it paled in comparison the likes of the Espada. But for some reason, he had entrusted one of his most powerful Espada with your training. It almost hurt to try and understand, and it only made you feel more unworthy of anything. But maybe that was the point, maybe Lord Aizen was just toying with you, maybe they were _all_ just toying with you. It's not like there were many ways to kill time in Las Noches, and even less so out in the barren deserts of Hueco Mundo. You shook the thought from your mind, realising it made absolutely no sense to put that much effort into something like that. But still, you couldn't help feeling that there was something more at play here when it came to you, something you were being kept in the dark about. But you decided you didn't want to think about it right now. Too much had happened today, and you felt yourself beginning to get overwhelmed when you tried to think about any of it. 

You found yourself trembling, you had gotten cold standing in the middle of your room, you hadn't moved for a while as you were stuck in all your thoughts. You released the tension you'd been holding in your shoulders and lay down on your bed. You decided to sleep it all off. You weren't sure how things would be from here on out now that you'd that crossed a line with two Espada. Though you weren't too concerned with Grimmjow, you felt a dread as you thought about seeing Ulquiorra again. He was still supposed to train you, wasn't he? How was going to react when he saw you again? What would he say? You remembered Lord Aizen say they would all be receiving new orders, maybe he had more important things to be in charge of from now on, maybe he wouldn't be responsible for you anymore. Maybe you would be made to be Grimmjows Fraccion after all. You shivered as you thought about it, and pulled the covers over yourself, they were cold at first, but you slowly felt yourself warm up, and sleep came easily to your exhausted mind.

You dreamed of Ulquiorra. How he had looked at you with his intense jade stare moments before having you in a tight embrace. How he had kissed you, the feeling of lips, the way he dominated your mouth with his tongue as though he were trying to drink you in. How his hands explored you, how every touch had made you feel intoxicated.  
How he had left so abruptly, and how you'd suddenly felt so alone and yearning. The moments played over and over in your dreams, the image of him twisting further and further into the monster you believed he felt he was for having given in. By the hundredth time, you were watching him stand in the bloody water like he had every time before that, only this time he didn't come to you. His eyes had darkened, his pale face streaked with black tears, the hole in chest bleeding black, monstrous dark wings on either side of him. You felt an intense Reiatsu from him, and your vision slowly faded as a strong spiritual power emanated from him. 

You were awoken with a start. A knock on your door had startled you awake. One of the arrancar nurses from the infirmary had come to check on you.

"I was requested to come and treat you by Lord Aizen." She had said as she entered, she smiled sweetly at you as she placed fresh bandages and a change of clothes on the dresser next to you. "He was informed that you had suffered injuries."

"By who?" You asked, but you soon answered your own question as you realised Ulquiorra would have reported his failure to Lord Aizen, as well as your unwillingness to go to the infirmary.

"It seems you have already recovered quite well and aren't in need of any treatment," She said, ignoring your question. "I shall leave these here for you anyway, you may need them in the future."  
With that, she gave you a quick nod and walked back out of your room. You threw the blanket off, seeing that your wounds had indeed stayed healed. You had expected them to worsen in your sleep, thinking you'd only imagined the rapid healing you seemed to have. You felt excited, wondering if you'd gotten stronger again. Maybe Grimmjow was right, maybe the best way for you to get stronger is to get _roughed up_ as he put it. You dressed yourself and quickly headed out. You were going to get some training in, with or without Ulquiorra. You wanted to see if you could finally use and hold your released form.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a few days since Aizen called away half of his Espada. You've been training with Szayel in the mean time under Aizens orders, since he is able to accommodate your need for something to fight since you no longer had a training partner.  
> Grimmjow is still salty.
> 
> Note: I have no idea what Szayels palace is really like, aside from the room he fought Renji and Ishida in, but I'm just gonna make some stuff up for the sake of the story! I'll try to keep it believable~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊶ Implicit threats of rape/non-con  
> ⊶ Swearing and shit

Lord Aizen had requested to see you as you were on your way to the usual training arena. He suggested that Szayel take you to train in his space, since you no longer had a training partner. He made no real mention of Ulquiorra to you, but he had at least relented in his decision to make you train with Grimmjow in his absence, much to your relief. 

You spent the next few days training in Szayels palace. He had a section dedicated to his study of hollows, and you were able to fight against some lower leveled ones he otherwise kept around for research. He didn't seem bothered by that fact though, he seemed eager to have you train with him as it meant he could kill two birds with one stone by having you also fight against his own Fraccion. You'd get in the training Lord Aizen wanted you to get, and Szayel could take _battle data_ and continue to refine his experimental subjects. Plus he'd found it fascinating to watch you, curious about the strength you possess and why Lord Aizen had taken such an interest in you to begin with. _Three birds_ , you'd thought to yourself. 

The training wasn't as intense as you were used to, you knew Szayel was holding a lot back to avoid severely injuring you. It was a good enough work out, but it didn't feel like you were being challenged at all. You just cut down hollow after hollow. His Fraccion didn't put up much of a fight either. A few had proved tricky to get around, but once you'd figured out their movements and pattern of attack, they were easy to cut down. You felt angry and frustrated, and it clearly showed.

"You Reiatsu becomes incredibly unstable when you become distressed." Szayel had informed you.  
"And while I would happily push you past that limit myself to satisfy my own curiosity, Lord Aizen has forbid me. Unfortunately, my task at this time is to help you _compose_ yourself during battle. You need to learn how to control your Reiatsu, when to release it, how to hold your form all that other boring stuff."  
He waved his hand lazily, brushing off the words as if they bored him.  
"Preferably without losing control of any of it. You expend too much, too fast. Lord Aizen fears that if you're not able to withstand it yet, it may grow completely out of your control and cause a lot of destruction."

You had twirled those words around in your head after every session as you walked back to your room. Obviously, Lord Aizen thought you had a lot of strength. You had heard that the strongest of the Espada were forbidden from releasing their forms within Las Noches because their spiritual power was so strong, it had the potential destroy the fortress. Did Aizen think you possibly had the same strength? Of course not, you thought. But either way, before you were allowed to get into any of the more intense training you craved, you were first supposed to get familiar with your own strength and how to properly regulate it as needed. You had noticed it yourself that ever since the first incident with Grimmjow, while it had become stronger, your Reiatsu did feel more unstable. You found it difficult to utilize, that much was clear already by not being able to reach the point of your released form again. The first time you released it, it was entirely a fluke, fuelled by rage and anguish. And you'd had such little control over how much power you released along with it that you had put yourself out of commission. You finally realised you had been taking the training with Ulquiorra for granted. You knew now he was doing exactly what was required when it came to your training, your power when you fought with him felt like it was being enriched and cultivated, being pulled from you bit by bit as you got more comfortable with it. It was especially obvious now, compared to how it felt like it was either being forcefully pulled out, or not being touched at all. There was no middle ground anymore.

You made a long sigh as you walked down the long halls, it echoed slightly as it traveled through the wide empty space. Even though you barely saw Ulquiorra outside of training and being taken to the infirmary, the halls of Las Noches felt incredibly emptier knowing he wasn't within them right now. You didn't know where he was, but it was clearly important enough to be gone for a long time. It had been 5 days now since you last saw him. Every now and again, the last moments you shared played in your head. But they weren't pleasant like they should be, they just haunted you instead, dread and sadness setting in as you felt like you'd made a mess of everything.

"You're looking mighty fucking glum." Grimmjows voice had startled you, you hadn't even noticed that you were approaching his presence.  
He stood leaning against the wall, arms crossed, looking like his usual smug self, the hollow hole in his stomach bared proudly. 

"I'm sure I've got _something_ for that." He made a crude gesture at you, letting his Reiatsu sting its predatory aura into you.

"Fuck off." You said abruptly, taking you both by surprise. 

"Tch." He scoffed, "Grown out some talons, have you baby bird? Might wanna check yourself, though. I know mama birds _definitely_ not here to come and save you now."

You ignored him and kept walking, but you felt his eyes stuck on you. You weren't really as intimidated by him as you used to be, you weren't really sure why. You knew that even though you'd gotten stronger, you were still no match for him if he tried anything again. You felt strangely confident that he wouldn't though. 

"Looks like you managed to heal everything I did to you." His voice followed you. "Maybe I need to get _deeper_ this time."

His hand grabbed your shoulder tightly, but you'd already drawn your sword and held it to his throat. It wouldn't do much against him, but your intended threat was still made clear. He gave a scoff as he dug his nails into your skin, you already felt the warmth of some blood seeping into the cloth of your top as he let a growl escape his throat. You responded by pressing the tip of your sword further into the skin at his throat, releasing some of your Reiatsu to reiterate the threat to back off. You saw a flash of shock in his eyes and his grin left his face as he released your shoulder and took a step back. You saw a trickle of blood fall down his throat, and you fought to keep your own surprise hidden. He clearly didn't think you would be able to penetrate his hierro, and honestly, neither did you. A rush of pride hit you for just a second.

"I'm not the in the fucking _mood_ for you, Grimmjow." You hissed. 

He let out a laugh and put his hands in his pockets, quickly brushing away his previous shock. 

"You really _have_ gotten stronger." He said almost sincerely. "I'm so proud of you, my little baby bird."

"I'm not _yours_." You snapped. He tisked at you, his smile once again left his face and he gave you a cold, annoyed stare, his brow furrowed in mild anger. He turned and walked away down the halls, but not before growling at you over his shoulder, getting the last word in.

"We'll see about that."

Grimmjows words enraged you. It took everything you had not to throw an attack him. Instead, you waited until he'd walked far enough away, no longer feeling his Reiatsu nearby.

"Yeah, well you'll be waiting a long fucking time then!" You raised your voice after him, knowing he wouldn't hear it, but it made you feel better to think you'd had the last word after all. But it didn't feel good enough. Now more than ever you, you just wanted to train more, fight something. Fight something _challenging_. You remembered a section of Szayels palace, a corridor that spiraled down under the floors of Las Noches. He had made a brief mention when you'd first passed it that he had a door down there he had made adjustments to, and it allowed him to enter the Forest of Menos easily whenever he wanted to gather new hollows for the sake of experimenting, hence why he was unphased by you destroying any he had in his possession already. Though it was obviously implied that you were not authorised to make use of it, he never explicitly said so. In a split decision, you turned on your heels and walked back towards Szayels palace.

You were surprised you found it easily, normally he kept a trap set that wouldn't allow you to wander through his space anywhere that he didn't want you to. He must have relaxed it after you'd left, thinking you'd just stay away until tomorrow.  
You made a quick glance around you before you slipped through the archway and began descending.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're fighting small fry hollows and menos alike, after making it into the Forest of Menos through the hidden passage Szayel had kept for research purposes.  
> But trouble soon comes as you realised you may have overestimated your own strength already.

It hadn't taken long to find the massive doorway Szayel had mentioned, it was tall and imposing, almost looking like a giant portal gate. It must be something like that, you figured, if it was able to lead directly into the Forest of Menos from here. You weren't really sure if you could get away with returning just as unnoticed, but you figured you'd deal with that when the time came. You didn't hesitate to walk through it, and suddenly you were in a cold, dark space. 

Hueco Mundo was in an eternal midnight, but even the light of the moon gave the vast empty desert an amount of life and brightness, however minuscule it was. This place however, was just dark. The quartz trees that surrounded you spanned so high above you that they disappeared into black nothingness, and there was nothing but darkness beyond them at the bottom either. You felt strangely at home here though, filled with a familiarity as though you had spent a lot of time here. Your feet had acted on their own as they took your further into the black forest, leaving the doorway back into Las Noches behind you. 

It wasn't long before you encountered your first group of hollows, and you felt a rush of adrenaline, eager to fight them. You made quick work of them, feeling their Reishi around you. The more you fought, the more were drawn to your area. You fought many groups as you headed deeper and deeper. You were losing yourself in the fight, finally feeling as though this was natural for you, it likely reminded you of your time hunting down lesser hollows and consuming them in order become more powerful. You knew at least that while you were merely a hollow, you had continued to consume all kinds of Menos in order to keep your sense of self and avoid devolving back into a being that ran on nothing but pure instinct. 

The longer you spent here, fighting your way through countless hollows, the more your sense of self began to return. The one you had lost when whatever happened to you, before Lord Aizen found you, had happened. The feeling of gliding through the spaces between the trees felt good, as if you were flying. You felt intoxicated as you sped through the groups of Menos that were drawn to all the commotion you were making. It almost felt like with each hollow you destroyed here, another piece of your memory returned. Flashes of tall figures, framed by wide white wings and feathers, long flowing strands and bright golden eyes. The more memories came back however, the more drained you began to feel. You disposed of the current group and quickly left the immediate area, searching for somewhere to stop and rest. You spotted a dark clearing that emanated a faint glow, and headed that way. 

It was a flat rocky space, a round area lined by big quartz trees. There was a sheer cliff on one side that you couldn't see the top of. A large pool of murky water sat below it, a faint glow was visible just beneath the waters surface. You made a casual stroll around the place, taking it in. For as dismal and colourless as the Forest of Menos was, this was actually a very beautiful place. You felt your breath return and the tension you'd been holding in your body relaxed, finally having a still moment after what felt like hours fighting through here.  
You stopped just short of the waters edge. It seemed to drop off immediately into a deep pool, but you couldn't tell how far down it went. The water was black and murky, but the soft glow you could see was slightly golden in colour. You peered in, trying to discern what was causing it. You touched the surface of the water with your sword and sent ripples all the way across it until they hit the rock wall at the other side. You watched them curiously, but you soon felt a twinge of anxiety, as you noticed they weren't dissipating the way ripples should. Instead, there seemed to be more ripples than there originally was, getting larger and faster as though something below had disturbed the waters. Something _large_.  
A sudden boom of spiritual pressure surrounded you, you could tell the Reiryoku was exceptionally higher than what you had encountered so far, maybe your own even. You made a quick jump backwards to get away from the waters edge, but you felt something grab one of your legs and you were yanked downwards onto the ground. A slimy black tendril had wrapped around the lower half of your leg, and had started to drag you back toward the water. You slashed at it with your sword, severing it, and it became immediately limp, loosening its grip on you. You didn't have time to dwell on it though, because no sooner had you dispatched that tendril, five more had shot out of the water with a loud splash, thrashing and flailing around. One made another shoot towards you, but you were quick to slice it away.  
One after the other, the tendrils came for you, each one you slashed seem to bring up a handful more of them. Soon, a set of two bigger tendrils shot out of the small lake, forcing a large amount of water into the air that rained down on the area. They were much larger and thicker than the tendrils around it, and you could see sharp teeth-like appendages lining them, razor sharp, and somehow _writhing_. You were still studying them when they both shot toward you. Your adrenaline shot up, you were alone, and no one knew you had come here. You could already tell that whatever kind of Menos this was, you wouldn't be able to fight it with your power level. With that, a thought entered your mind. You were just gonna have to get stronger than you currently were. 

You had barely dodged the attack from the main tentacles. You found your footing and brandished your sword, you had no idea if this would work, but you didn't have a choice. You remembered how your power became unstable when you were supposedly in distress, and you knew that it had happened once before that you were able to use your release when you became upset. The tentacles made another grab for you, followed by a bunch of the smaller tendrils. You braced yourself, and closed your eyes. You pictured Ulquiorra, his indifferent expression piercing into you with those beautiful eyes. You pictured Grimmjow and his violence. You pictured all the times you that you felt anger, humiliation, sadness, despair, _anguish_. You trembled and you felt your Reiatsu wobbling. You thought hard, focusing those feelings into your sword. 

"Soar, Cuervo Blanca!" 

The tentacles had wrapped around you, pinning your arms to you, the smaller tendrils wrapped on your wrists and legs. You held onto your sword tightly, a wash of fear running over you as you were dragged toward the water, unable to wrestle free. It hadn't worked. You were almost certain it would. Despair and anguish took over, as you realised you were going to die here, alone, unknown, _weak_.

A sudden rush of power surged through you. A white light surrounded you, and you felt your body tense as a large amount of spiritual power seemed to manifest inside you. You felt suddenly much more powerful than you did before, and the tentacles had broken off you with ease. They fell away from you limply as you jumped into the air, stretching out, feeling more alive than you ever had. White feathery wings flapped at your sides, your hands and feet sharp with long black talons. Triumph and pride was all you felt for a moment as you realised you had released your power, but you didn't get much time to celebrate as more tentacles shot out of the water. More of those same large ones, lined with razor sharp teeth. They all shot toward you, and you raked at them with your hands, talons marring deeply into them as they fell limply back down into the water. 

You were soaring around the air, dodging and slashing everything that came at you. but you soon realised, however, that despite this form, you were still outmatched by this enemy. You had deflected strike after strike from the barrage of tendrils and tentacles that came for you, but they were relentless, as though this hollow had an unlimited amount of them to spare. It wasn't long before you began to feel drained, letting your guard down as your body began to beg for a rest, and the tentacles once again had a hold on you, the sharp teeth edges digging into you. You couldn't break out this time, you were exhausted and your power seemed all but spent. You were pulled down towards the water, and you took a large breath before crashing through the surface.

Your body immediately tensed at the sudden freezing cold. You continued to struggle as best you could as you were pulled slowly deeper and deeper under the water, but it seemed useless. The despair set in again, this time you were dead for sure, there was nothing left that you could do to help yourself. _Why didn't you just run away?_

The golden light you'd seen earlier presented itself in the form of a giant eye, glowing brightly out from behind a large hollow mask. Shock hit you, despite the murky darkness of the water, you could make out the outline of the main body of the hollow. You had never seen a hollow like this before, it was like a leviathan, its mass seemed to span all the way down into the deepness of the water, hundreds of tentacles swirled around you, and you heard it cry as the beaked mouth of the hollows mask began to open, revealing a large hole with many rows of long, sharp teeth spanning in a never ending spiral down its throat. A gasp of air escaped you in a mass of bubbles that floated quickly away from you and water entered your lungs, the murkiness of the water around you slowly obscuring your vision the deeper you were pulled, as you watched the rows of teeth seemingly writhe and move, turning towards you as if they were little arms reaching for you in anticipation of a meal. You used the last ounce of strength you had to struggle again, a last ditch attempt as you slowly lost consciousness. Futile. You let yourself go limp, watching the rows of teeth, barely an inch from you now. You had accepted death.

Your eyes began to close, bracing for the pain.

The image of Ulquiorras green eyes, he would be the last thing you thought about...

Then, a sudden flash of red light hit the back if your eyelids, it seemed to be a cero. It flew past you and made a direct hit into the mouth of the hungry hollow, and it immediately released you and retreated speedily into the depths without you. You watched it disappear into the darkness, your limbs floating limply in the water, sinking down, unable to move, unable to think, unable to even feel relieved, you felt completely numb and you finally lost consciousness as an arm wrapped around your waist and began to pull you back up.


	13. Chapter 13

A sudden pressure in your chest shocked you back into consciousness.  
Your eyes had barely opened before you felt a rush of ice cold, bitter water hit your throat, coughing and choking as you expelled it from your body. 

Your whole body ached, and you shivered violently as your wet clothes stuck to you, ice cold and making your muscles weak. Your head spun as you tried to focus on the figure that leaned over you. You heard them speak, though you couldn't make out what they were saying. Everything sounded muffled, but they clearly sounded angry. A second figure joined them, speaking more softly. A blurry vision of black and white was all you could see before exhaustion took over and you passed out.

You woke up your room. It took you a few seconds to get your bearings, but you were lying in your bed, you had been changed out of your wet clothes and dressed in a tank top and your underwear. Mos of the exposed skin of your body was wrapped in bandages. You lay there for a moment, remembering what happened. The image of all those tendrils, the tentacles covered with barbs that looked like wriggling teeth, the feeling of the cold water crushing you as you were pulled under, nearly being eaten by that monstrous hollow. You tried to sit up, but every muscle in your body began to feel like it was tearing apart. A flash of white hot pain shot through every one of your muscles and you cried out.

"You shouldn't move." 

It took you by surprise. You hadn't heard his voice in days, you almost didn't believe it was him.  
You turned to look. Ulquiorra was leaning back on the wall across the room, his hands in his pockets and his eyes closed. 

"You encountered one of Szayelaporros augmented Vasto Lorde." He continued. "He has made many drastic changes to its Reishi. The toxin in it's barbed tendrils has been specifically engineered by him to halt the absorption of Reishi in beings that require it to heal. You're lucky we found you when we did. You would have been consumed by it. You have been given an antidote, but the toxin has already wreaked havoc on your body."

You remained quiet. You didn't want to say anything to him. The last time you saw him, things were getting complicated. And now it looks like you've complicated things even further.

"It will take a considerable amount of time for you to heal this time." He sighed. "You sure do have a terrible habit of being inconvenient." 

It stung more than it should have. But he wasn't wrong. You were always acting out and getting yourself in trouble. And you were somehow able to get away with it, for whatever reason Lord Aizen had for keeping you around. But you realised that by doing so, you were putting everyone else in the line of fire. Grimmjow did it to himself, but Ulquiorra would take the brunt of whatever the former had done since he was supposed to watch over you. And now Szayel would be in the cross-hairs, seeing as it was his doorway that was used, and his test subject that nearly killed you. You really were making a mess of everything here.

You felt tears begin to fall. They were silent at first, but a wash of despair fell over you, and you were soon sobbing and whimpering. The trembling of your sobs made your body burn with pain, which only made you cry more. You had rolled painfully over onto your side, facing away from Ulquiorra. Shame and guilt nipping at your chest. You suddenly seemed to be caught in a loop, crying in anguish over your actions and the resulting pain. The pain increasing with every heave and sob only reminding you of your actions. You couldn't stop it. 

"I wish you would stop being so impulsive." 

You heard his voice speak, but you weren't really listening, you were too caught up in your own tears and pain.  
You felt a hand rest softly on your head, and you immediately felt a wave of calm. You hushed your sobbing and steadied your breathing as the pain seemed to subside. 

"You have gotten stronger, though." He said softly. "If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have sensed your Reiatsu."

"Is that how you found me?" You asked me softly. "Were you the one to pull me out?"

"Yes." He answered quietly, and you felt his hand tighten softly before he took it away, his fingers lingering in your hair for a moment.  
You immediately felt the pang of sadness hit again, and the pain returned almost immediately after his touch was gone. You made another pained cry, and tears began again. You tensed up, pulling your knees into your chest. It wasn't long before you felt his hand return to your head. Once again, everything seemed to subside. You turned to look at him and he let his hand move to cup your face. He had pulled the chair from your desk and was sat at your bedside. His eyes seemed to studying yours.

"Whatever it is you're doing, please don't stop." You said with a nervous laugh.

"I'm not the one doing anything." He said quickly. "Whatever is easing your discomfort is your own doing. Though it seems you're unable to do it at will."

He let his hand leave your face, but he held it close. Once again, the pain set back in, you began to wince and felt tears well up, so he placed his hand back on your cheek.

"I have a high-speed regeneration ability." He stated, "It seems you have an ability that is somehow able to borrow that from me by using my spiritual power, though it's not very strong, the change in my own Reiatsu was so small I almost didn't notice it."

"Then, the other night.." You started to say, wanting to tell him about how your wounds were healed when he left, but you found yourself hesitant to really bring it up. 

He didn't say anything, you didn't mind. You were a little glad that it wasn't mentioned. You were sure he probably just wanted to forget it happened. And you guess you did too, knowing that.

"Your wounds don't seem to be healing." He finally said sternly. "But you're using enough of my ability to ease your pain, which will likely contribute to faster healing. I will stay with you for a short while, but I have to meet with Lord Aizen, in which case, you will have to heal on your own."

You avoided his eyes as you shifted to get comfortable, turning back away from him. You were going to thank him, but of course he was just doing what made sense to him. You focused on the feeling of his hand on your head, and you felt relaxed enough to drift into sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

You weren't sure how long you had slept, but when you awoke you already felt a hundred times better than before.  
Your muscles still ached and felt fatigued, but most of the pain had already subsided to a mostly dull ache. You sat up, stiffly lifting up your tank top and you began to remove the bandages. There were puncture wounds across your arms and banded around your abdomen, and you remembered how those toothy-barbs had dug into you when you were bound by those monstrous tentacles. You inspected your arms, noticing smaller punctures on the under side of them. They must have pierced all the way through, you realised. Looking down at your abdomen, it was clear a lot of your organs would have also been punctured, probably where most of the toxin ad entered your system. It explained how much pain you'd been in earlier, normally your threshold for pain was fairly high, but you remembered how much of a crying mess you had been the night before because of it. Though, that might have also been because of how emotional you had become. _What was wrong with you?_ How were able to feel so much despair? 

You noticed the empty chair that was pulled up by your bedside, and you were reminded of Ulquiorra. You felt a warmth in your chest. You weren't sure how long he had stayed by your bedside, allowing you to use his Reishi as your body attempted to heal. But it seemed he stayed long enough for you to be able to remain asleep through any returning pain when he finally did leave. But you shook that warmth away, reminding yourself it was probably less to do with being comforting, and more to do with trying to speed up your recovery. You thought back to his words.

_"I have a high-speed regeneration ability, it seems you have an ability that is somehow able to borrow that from me by using my spiritual power."_

You thought back to that night by the bath. The memory that already haunted you now became even worse. Every time he had touched you, how it felt like he was pouring his spiritual power into you. He wasn't pouring it into you, you had been pulling it from him. That's how your wounds had healed; not because you had gotten stronger, but because you used someone _elses_ power to heal yourself. Like some sort of parasite, like a _fucking leech_.

You felt a wash of disgust with yourself. Was that supposed to be one of your strengths? Weakening another to make yourself stronger? You hated that thought. Just like you hated almost everything else about yourself right now too. 

You stood and walked over to the desk, taking the fresh bandages and wrapping them over your wounds. They'd done a fair amount of healing already, but they were still _open_ wounds, small beads of blood had formed when you had exposed them to the air, but they weren't bleeding. You could see they were all pretty deep though.  
You got dressed and left your room, heading towards Lord Aizens court. You weren't summoned by him, but you had decided to see him yourself, hoping to get some answers from him. He clearly knew more about your power than you did, he may have even already known what abilities you possess. He _definitely_ knew about your past, that much you were certain about, and it clearly related to how powerful you could become, at least according to him. Even if it wasn't the whole story and just from around the time he had found you, what he knew about you was still better than nothing. You were sick of being kept in the dark. You were sick of wondering about yourself, wondering when, _or if_ , your strength would reach the level he wanted it to. Clearly Lord Aizen expected you to be able to reach a power level that at least came close to that of an Espada. You had been training _with_ the Cuatro Espada for a reason, right? He could have easily been made to merely supervise training that pitted you against other lower Arrancar, but you were training _against him_. 

Eventually you had roamed down the halls long enough to reach the tall doors that lead to Aizens court. You stood in front of them, wondering if you should be polite and knock first, waiting for permission to enter. But you also had a thought about just busting the doors open, walking stoically into the room and right up to Lord Aizen, demanding answers. You stood for a few minutes, not really finding the courage to do either of those things.

"Are you going in or are you just going to stand there like a fucking dickhead?" 

You jumped, startled by the sound of Grimmjows voice, causing your already aching muscles to tense and you winced at the sudden shoot of pain. You hadn't even noticed that he had come up next you. You avoided looking at him.  
A shot of adrenaline hit you in your stomach. Your muscles were still weak, your spiritual power hadn't returned all the way, and even if either of those things weren't the case, you only now noticed the absence of your sword on your hip. It was enough to give you that push you needed.

You forced open the tall doors, taking a few steps in and leaving Grimmjow behind you in the hallway. He wouldn't hurt you as long he was in the presence of Lord Aizen, that much was true, least he wanted another bad scar. 

"Welcome, (Y/N)." Lord Aizen got up from his chair, and walked down to meet you.  
"I had hoped to speak with you, I was about to send for you."

He stared softly down at you, a gentle smile on his face. You found it hard to look away from his eyes, as though you would be attacked if you did. You had wanted to appear strong and unphased, but you knew you looked like a scared lamb in a wolfs den. 

"I heard about your little... _escapade_ in the Forest of Menos." He began, "I trust it was a successful excursion?"

Was he joking? You naturally dropped your gaze to look down at your arms, but your bandages weren't visible under the sleeves of your top. You were irritated, you weren't fond of the idea of being taunted right now, especially not since you had come here for answers. You felt suddenly brave.

"I'm sure that you are aware of exactly how it went. Lord Aizen." You said firmly, your voice raised slightly, not even trying to hide the sound of annoyance. 

Aizen made a light chuckle. 

"Of course I do. It went exactly as I'd hoped." 

You felt your stomach drop, but you did your best not to let it show on your face. What did he mean by that?

"Well, _almost_ exactly." He added quickly, "I hadn't expected your run in with one of Szayelaporros experiments, but I'll take the small victories where I can."

"I don't have the energy to listen to you be vague right now." You had blurted out angrily, and before you even had a chance to stop yourself, you had begun a long, angry rant.  
"You're going to tell me everything I want to know, because I know there's a lot more that's being kept from me, and I am _so_ sick of it!  
You have me escorted or protected, and I have no say in any of it. I've tried my hardest to put faith in the orders I've been given, because surely there's a reason to it all, right?!  
But I can't for the life of me figure out what that reason is! You're so worried about me losing control of something I don't even have!  
You let me get away with disobeying orders from my superiors so often, I'm becoming convinced that it's exactly what what you _want_ me to do!  
And I've been tormenting myself over all the details, trying to piece everything together and figure out what reason you could possibly have for placing me under one of your strongest Espada when I barely compare to even half of the Arrancar in this damned, forsaken place!  
And you _know_ what happened to me before I came here. You said we were going to finish that conversation, and I've decided that we will do that right now.  
You are going to tell me _everything_. What happened to me? Why am I here? What great, fucking potential do you think I have and why would you even think I have that? What _am_ I?!."

There was a long silence. A tear had fallen down your cheek while you yelled. Lord Aizens expression didn't change once during your outburst, as if he knew it was coming and was merely waiting for you to finish. It made you angrier and you felt your cheeks get hot, your fists clenching so hard your nails had begun to dig into your palms. You saw the man known as Tosen make a move towards you, but he was waved off by Aizen. 

"Inside the walls of Las Noches," Aizen began speaking, breaking the long, awkward silence. You braced yourself.  
"The Reishi is dense enough to nourish the Arrancar and keep them alive and well. However, outside these walls, you would need to consume the Reishi of another in order to survive. When Szayelaporro reported that you had entered the Forest of Menos through his gate, I had seen an opportunity."

You shifted your weight uncomfortably, your tired muscles already screaming for rest again, but you kept your posture straight, a stern expression on your face as you kept sharp eye contact with Aizen.

"You hadn't consumed a hollow since your time as an Arrancar. I had hoped that allowing you to fight among the menos in a more familiar place, absorbing their Reishi, you would be able to awaken some new strength, shake some memories lose. I was correct, wasn't I?"

You made a slight nod. 

"Tell me, what did you see? What do you remember?"

You thought for a moment, trying to recall the bits of memory you recovered while out the Forest of Menos. 

"My tribe, I think." You answered honestly. "Only vague figures, but they had white wings, like I do when I release. But that's really all I remembered."

"Yours was a very ancient tribe of Vasto Lorde." Aizen continued, nodding his head. "I'm sure you've figured out by now that a Vasto Lorde is the highest level in the evolutionary chain of a Menos. So few exist in Hueco Mundo. I was very fortunate, and thankful, to find you when I did. Are you aware that only a few of my Espada are Vasto Lorde? And I see you, my dear, as a powerful counterpart to one of them."

This information seemed to hit you like a tonne of bricks. If what Lord Aizen said was true, then you really did have the potential to become extremely powerful. But what did he mean by 'counterpart'?

"I had chosen not to inform you of any of this in the hopes to avoid unnecessary pressure on you. I was hoping that if you trained at a controlled pace, your memories would return gradually and your strength would be unlocked steadily. But I do apologise, as it seems to have only worsened the pressure you were under. I am still not sure how best to go about unlocking that currently hidden potential in you, but I do have _some_ ideas, a few different methods I thought worth a try."

You had been staring at the floor for a while, not quite sure how to process it all. It did make sense though, now that you thought about it. If you really were a Vasto Lorde, and they were really as powerful as Aizen had implied, then its obvious that any power in you could be a threat if not properly harnessed. Remembering how the strongest Espada were forbidden from using their release forms within the fortress, you figured that those strongest _were_ the Vasto Lorde. It meant your power really could destroy Las Noches. It could destroy _you_.

There wasn't much more conversation after that. Lord Aizen could tell that in your condition, your talk had already taken it's toll on you, and he dismissed you. He had offered to have Gin escort you to the infirmary, but you had declined. You just wanted to be alone so you could think. You had been walking down the hallways, on your way back to your room, thankful that Grimmjow had not been waiting outside Aizens court when you left. Your head felt heavy and your body was sluggish as you tried to think about what you'd learned about yourself. There was still more you wanted to know, but now wasn't the time after all. Aizen had promised, once again, to continue the conversation at a later date, preferably when you'd recovered.

You were about to round the corner to where your room was, when you felt Ulquiorras presence. You immediately felt a rush of shame and anger. Everything that had happened between the two of you, whatever it all was, flashed in your head. And you felt all your anxieties about him return. You turned the corner and walked toward your door. Ulquiorra had stopped just short of it when he saw you, and you avoided his eyes as you slipped into your room.

"There is something I must discuss with you." He said.

"I'm not the in mood." You replied tersely.

"It wasn't a request." 

You let out a sigh and dropped your shoulders, motioning lazily for him to follow you in.  
You decided this was fine after all, as you realised you had a bone to pick with him now anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still not really sure how tribes work in universe, but at least in this slightly AU world, the tribes were made up of Menos that looked similar enough. Also I know it's never confirmed which Espada were actually Vasto Lorde, if any even were at all, but the popular fan theories that Espadas 1-4 were Vasto Lorde (with 5-8 being Adjuchas, 9 a confirmed Gillian, and Yami being who the fuck knows what), is going to be canon for this story at least. And yall can probably already tell what cheesy as frick direction I'm heading with this, but I'm sticking to it because this is my silly self-serving fanfic :P


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, I'm sorry!
> 
> The next one will be longer~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊶ Angst and _some_ comfort kinda

Tears had already started welling in your eyes before you heard the door close behind you and Ulquiorra.  
Whatever he had to say, you didn't care. You were full of sadness and rage, and you felt like it was going to tear you apart.

"What am I to you?" You tried to keep your voice controlled, but it came out loudly, cracking as you failed to hold back tears.  
Ulquiorra was silent for a long time, but you could feel his stare on the back of your head. You didn't want to look at him, for fear of coming apart. 

"You are a subordinate of Lord Aizen, and I have been tasked with your protection and training." He said finally, sternly, as matter-of-fact as he ever sounded.

"That's not what I asked." You groaned. "What am I to _you_?"

"I don't understand the point of your question." He responded tersely.

"Yes you do, you're just ignoring it because you don't fucking _like_ it."

"Of course I don't like it, it is a useless question." 

"It's not useless to me!" You turned to face him, your voice was raised loudly in anger, almost screaming, your body trembling with a cold, anxious chill. The green eyes you always loved to look at were filling you with a sadness.  
"Nothing that I feel is useless! And I hate how easily you can always throw it aside. You are so fucking _cold_ and I have no idea why I even still feel anything that I do for you!"

"I don't have any idea either." He replied, closing his eyes, his hands still in his pockets, looking so casual. "All I am doing is training you, as Lord Aizen has ordered me to."

"Then what was _that_?!" You threw your arm out to the side, gesturing at the bath. "Was that just something _Lord Aizen_ ordered you to do?"

"No." He responded, sounding annoyed, giving a stern look toward the bath. 

"Then what the _hell_ was it?"

You were both quiet for a long time, the only sound was the soft quivering in your breath as you tried to hold back tears. His eyes had closed again, as if he were deep in thought.

"Every time." You started to say. "Every time I think I'm getting somewhere with you, I hit a wall. Sometimes I hit the wall on my own, and sometimes you _hit_ me with it. And you hit me with it so hard in order to keep yourself void and empty, pushing away anything that dares to come close, because for some reason you're terrified of feeling anything."

"I'm not terrified of anything."

"Then tell me what I _am_ to you!" 

You stood in silence again. His eyes were still closed, brow more furrowed. 

"Because I need to put it to rest in my own mind." You spoke softly.  
"Because all I've been doing is making assumptions, filling in the blanks with my own insecurities, and it has _haunted_ me. You made me so _vulnerable_ to you. There has to be a reason, I know there must be _something_ there. I can't have imagined that."

"What if you did?" He asked coldly. 

"I'm pretty sure I didn't imagine.. _that_." You said, gesturing at the bath again. "I just want to know if it was real. Or if it was all just something Aizen set up to torment me, humiliate me into getting stronger. Like Grimmjow."

"Don't lump me in with something as low as that." He said tersely, annoyance in his voice.

More silence followed. You had said all you felt you needed to say. You just stood there, trembling, watching him, waiting for him to answer you. Whatever he said or did now, would tell you all you needed to know.  
He opened his eyes and looked at you. His face was relaxed, once again looking like nothing had happened. You felt your stomach drop, a huge ball of disappointment and sadness made it's way to your chest. You were sure that he was about to change the subject to whatever discussion he had needed to have with you. Either that, or he would say nothing more and simply walk out. You weren't prepared for him to start taking steps towards you, his jade eyes locked onto your face, his stare boring into your eyes. A flutter in your stomach, followed by a fear, you weren't sure what his intentions were right now.  
He stopped a few inches from you, his eyelids had hooded, his pupils dilating ever so slightly. He looked like he was in a trance again, and it made your chest tight, that familiar heat between your legs, the adrenaline shock in your belly. 

"What are you doing?" You asked softly, your cheeks felt hot.

"Deciding to do something foolish." He said softly, and he grabbed the back of your head, pulling you into a deep kiss.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⊶ Some kinda fluff  
> ⊶ NSFW

If it didn't serve to benefit Lord Aizen, he considered it foolish. If it wasn't something that fell under what he was ordered to do, he considered it foolish. If it was something said or done out of mere impulse, he considered it foolish. Ulquiorra was normally above doing things he considered foolish, and he considered most things to be so. 

That's what he'd always say about almost anything. Pointless. Useless. Needless. _Foolish_.  
As far as he was concerned, there was no place at all for impulsiveness of any kind. 

Yet here he was, his soft lips pressed onto yours as he held you close. Doing exactly something he considered to be all of the above.

You found a comfort in his arms, and had melted in them immediately, the storm in your mind easing. You pressed your body against his, and you felt his arm around your waist squeeze tighter. You stood in each others embrace for a long time before he finally broke the kiss, but he didn't move away from you, instead letting his forehead rest against yours at just the right angle to avoid having his mask hurt you. He made a long exhale out of his nose, and you thought he was about to say something. He didn't though, his eyes stayed closed and his arms remained around you, but he said nothing and made no movement. You noticed his brow was furrowed. You relaxed your arms around him and took a small step back, placing a hand on his cheek and lifting his face to look into yours. His expression soften only slightly as he opened his eyes and looked at you, but for the first time you saw them look _pained_.

"It was always easier to feel nothing." He said finally.  
"If I could not see it, then it did not exist and I needn't trouble myself over it. There was no need for wanting anything. Everything I did was for Lord Aizen, and I never bothered with anything else. He gives me orders, and I see them through. That is how I have always lived. But then _you_... "

"There doesn't always have to be a need for doing something that _you_ want to do." You told him, and you could see him considering your words.  
"You are allowed to _want_ things without a reason."

He said nothing. He just continued to look into your eyes, and you felt like you could drown in that green. You knew that by now you both sounded like a broken record to one another. You felt his hands tighten on you, causing you to wince in pain as the muscles in your back tensed under his pressure, the puncture wounds that still lined your body burned. You had almost forgotten about your injuries. 

"You still need to rest." He said in annoyance, breaking out of his own thoughts. He let go of you and took a step back, turning away and towards the door, his hands back in his pockets. "You have no time to waste on this right now. You need to recover quickly, Lord Aizen has new orders-"

"No!" You raised your voice and he gave you a surprised look over his shoulder. "You don't get to do that again! You don't get to come in here and do what you do just to turn and leave again because that's what's easiest for you!"

He stayed quiet, not even arguing you, the one unblinking eye looking over his shoulder at you remained fixed on you.  
That jade green still shone brightly even in your dim room, and you remembered back to when you first saw it, before you even knew what it was. It's what started everything for you, though you had never planned on admitting to anything, let alone acting on those feelings. But he had been the first one to bring any attention to your feelings to begin with, and neither of you would be here having this conversation if he had just kept his _observations_ to himself. But he didn't that day, he had brought up the fact that you looked at him with desire, and he had let own feelings slip for a mere moment. And now you knew he had acted on his own and not under some other pretense. You both wanted each other, he couldn't just keep denying it, you were done dancing around it.

"I'm tired, I'm sore, and I'm going to take a bath." You stated.  
"And you are either going to join me in it, or you're not. But whichever you choose to do, you _are_ going to stay here, because I'm not letting you leave this time. If you want me to recover quickly, then you can _help_ me. And whatever it is we need to do for Lord Aizen can be done when _we_ are done _here_."

He didn't move. He continued to look at you with the same surprised expression, but he still didn't argue. You turned and walked over to the bath, letting hot water fall into it as you began to undress. The extra stiffness and aching in your muscles from having been on your feet for a couple hours had made it difficult and you struggled to reach your boots to take them off as you sat on the end of the bed. You had already gotten one off with relative ease, but you hesitated to take the other off as you felt a strain in the wounds on your abdomen.

Ulquiorra came and knelt down beside you, cupping the back of your knee in one hand as he gently pulled the boot off your foot. His hand lingered for a moment on your calf and he avoided your eyes as he straightened back up. 

"Thank you." You said softly as you walked back over to the bath. 

You undid your pants and wiggled out of them, leaving you standing in just your top and your underwear. You made a glance back at him, he was still standing near your bed with his hands in his pockets and his eyes closed. You felt a small tinge of disappointment, it seemed he wasn't going to join you after all, but you were glad he at least stayed. Even though you said you weren't going to let him leave, you both knew there would be nothing you could do to stop him if he tried. You unzipped your top and started to shuck it off your shoulders. The bandages around your arms and torso only had a few spots of blood on them, and you were thankful that your wounds hadn't done much more bleeding than that.

The bath was full, and you turned the water off. You began to unravel the bandages on your thighs and made a step into the water, already feeling the relief in the muscles of your calves. You sat down on the ledge of the bath as you reached to unravel the bandages wrapped around your body, but you made a pained gasp as a sharp pain flashed in your side where a puncture wound had split open from your movement, a small spot of blood soaking into the bandages. Now that you were aware of the pain again, it seemed to feel even worse than before. You hugged your arms to your body as you winced and waited for the pain to subside a little.  
You felt a hand brush your hair off your shoulder and plant itself on the back of your neck, you turned to look up at Ulquiorra as he knelt down beside you again.

"Use my Reiatsu." He said softly, and you could suddenly feel his spiritual pressure soak into you like it had those few times before. You still weren't sure how to do it at will, but it seemed to happen naturally at least when you needed it the most. 

The pain subsided quickly and a wash of calm came over you. You continued removing bandages until they were all off, there was more than you remember, somehow. You really were in pretty bad shape, you thought to yourself. You lowered yourself into the water properly, sitting on the submerged ledge, letting the water soothe your abused muscles. You slid your waterlogged underwear off your hips and let them float lazily away from you to the other side of the bath. You heard a zip from behind you, and you felt a shot of adrenaline fire out from your core, a warm, welcome ache building between your legs. You tried to keep your eyes forward, tried putting on an unwavering facade, but it wavered and you looked over to see Ulquiorra with his back to you, slipping his arms out of his coat to reveal the other side of his hollow hole, along with pale skin and a lot of muscles. You turned around slowly, not letting the water made a sound, pressing yourself against the side of the large bath. You watched as the muscles on his back slightly flexed as he pulled the scabbard of his sword from his waistband and leaned it against the screen that separated the bath from the rest of your room. It was strange to be able to see through his hollow hole. There was only one Arrancar in all of Las Noches you knew of that paraded his around that way all the time. Otherwise, you had never really given much thought to it before that your hollow holes were indeed, somehow, a hole that drove straight through to the other side, like a fatal wound. 

You turned away quickly as Ulquiorra gave you a glance over his shoulder. You felt silly for being so nervous now. It's not like you hadn't seen him undressed before, though you admit you didn't really look much back then, as you had been more focused on they way his eyes looked at you and the way his touch felt. A shiver hit you and a sharp tingle rushed around your stomach as you remembered the feeling, and your anticipation began to grow again. You saw his pale, slender figure step into the water next to you from the corner of your eye and you began to tremble. You couldn't take it anymore.

You turned to him, pulling his face to yours as you crashed your mouth onto his. His arms were around you the same way as last time, one arm around your waist, pulling you tightly into him, the other hand with a bunch of your hair in it as he firmly held the back of your head. You could already feel his Reiatsu pouring into you, reviving you as you both stood in waist high water, skin on skin in another tight embrace that felt like you meant to fuse yourselves together. He broke the kiss, pulling your head back as he began planting smaller ones on your cheek and jaw before he buried his face in your neck, giving your skin small nips before soothing them with his tongue, pressing kisses on the forming bruises before they began to heal again. You could feel his borrowed regeneration working faster in you that it had before, your aching muscles felt renewed and the puncture wounds that banded your entire body seemed to be closing quickly.

You moved forward, pushing him back against the edge of the bath, and he lowered himself to sit on the submerged ledge, pulling you down. You straddled him as you wrapped your arms around his neck and head, running your fingers along the horn of his mask as he continued to bite, lick and kiss all over your skin, pulling small breathy moans from you with each one. You felt his length begin to press into your thigh, and you let out a groan. You didn't want to let the moment escape you again, and you lowered yourself, letting his hard length slide through your already slick folds. He bit down hard into your neck at the sensation of you, letting a quiet, low groan escape his throat. You were both breathing heavily as you slowly rocked your hips, feeling his length stroke along your sex, the friction against your clit sending warm sensations through you, making you dizzy. You pulled on his mask to bring his head back up, you wanted to look in his eyes. He had that familiar look on his face again, his eyes were wide and his pupils dilated as he watched your face, his lips parted slightly, breathing heavy but steadily, seemingly back in that same trance he'd been the last time you were here together.  
You watched his eyes as you positioned yourself just right, the head of his length once again at your slick entrance. You slowly lowered yourself, feeling him enter you. You let out a long moan as you felt him against your walls, and he made a sharp exhale and dug his fingers into the skin on your back. His eyes became hooded and he leaned his head back, keeping his eyes on you, a stern look on his face as if he were studying you. You lifted yourself slowly, letting his length pull out of you before you lowered yourself back down. You felt his hips push against yours as he entered you again, a small groan came from him as you let out a breathy moan. You had your palms on his neck, resting your thumbs against his jaw, your fingers combing through the hair on the back of his neck as you moved slowly up and down on him. He kept his hands firmly on the back of your shoulders, his fingers digging in slightly with every sensual thrust he made into you as you came down on him over and over.

Suddenly he shifted, pulling himself out of you. You made a whimper in protest as you felt the sudden absence of him, but he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you up, seating you on the ledge of the bath, climbing out of the water and crawling over you as you were forced to lean back, spreading your legs to let him get between them. His eyes were piercing into yours as he wrapped his arms back around you, and he placed a deep kiss into your mouth, his tongue lapping hungrily at yours as he slid an arm under the small of your back. You felt him angle your hips towards himself, and he entered you slowly as he lowered himself back down onto you, and you were pressed between his body, hot from the water in the bath, and the coldness of the tile below you. Your euphoria returned in a dizzying intoxication as you felt him thrust into you over and again, as if he could no longer restrain himself. Each thrust causing a new rush of warmth through your core, building in intensity. You let out an exasperated cry as you broke away from his mouth, throwing your head back and squeezing your eyes shut. You bucked your hips into his every time they crashed down onto you, until you finally felt the tense coil that had wound in your belly suddenly snap, and your body tensed, your back arched, pressing your stomach into him and your legs began to shake. 

You thought you would pass out as the intense wave of pleasure washed over your entire body, stronger than anything you had achieved on your own before. You let out a loud moan, not realising you had held your breath when your orgasm hit. He stopped for a moment, then continued to thrust slowly into you, watching your face closely. You got lost in the green of his eyes as you lay back, letting his thrusts send tingles and echoes of your pleasure through you, everything suddenly feeling way too sensitive and you almost couldn't take it. He watched you for a while before his own pleasure seemed to reach it's peak. His eyes darkened for a moment before he closed them tightly, his breath hitched and his jaw clenched, furrowing his brow as he let a small moan escape him. You reached up and pulled his head down, locking him in another deep kiss as he melted into everything, giving in. Your whole body was trembling as you lay under him, trying to catch your breath. He buried his face in your neck, planting soft kisses to your skin as he gently held the side of your face, his weight on you was comforting. 

You held each other tightly, neither of you saying anything. Nothing but the sound of both your heavy, tired breathing.  
You knew you would have to uncouple soon, you had urgent things to do for Lord Aizen, apparently.  
But you didn't care. 

You just wanted to enjoy the moment for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, admitedly not as much of a slow burn as I had originally intended, but I kinda couldn't resist anymore. BUT that doesn't mean everything is hunky dory now!


	17. Chapter 17

You felt content in this moment.

You had been lying together on the floor near the bath for a while now, still not saying anything. If you didn't know any better, you would have thought Ulquiorra had fallen asleep, his head rested on your shoulder and his arms around your body, the rest of him still nestled between your thighs. The horn on his mask was sitting just in front of your vision and you stared at it while you reminisced the moments before.  
Your skin was wet with sweat and residual water from the bath, and your body made a shiver as the cold began to set in. He suddenly pressed another soft kiss into your neck and began to lift himself off you as though he was reminded again of where he was, propping himself up on his elbows as he held your face in his hands. His usual blank expression had returned, and he looked into your eyes without a hint of anything on his face that told how he was currently lying naked on your floor with you, let alone anything else having happened just minutes ago. You made a light chuckle at that as you lifted a hand to stroke his cheek, looking at his one black lip on his almost scowling mouth, his face so composed as usual, and you felt his thumb lightly trace the mask under your eye in response to your touch. 

He closed his eyes, letting his hands trace down your body, preceding them with light, slow kisses before he sat up and held a hand out to you, offering to help you sit up. You felt a blush as you took it and lifted yourself up, pulling your knees to your chest.  
You watched him as he turned around and lowered himself back into the bath, standing in the hot, steamy water. You sat on the cold tile, your arms folded on your knees, and your head rested on your arms, watching the back of him as he let himself soak for a moment, bringing water to his face to wash away the sweat he'd worked up.  
He lifted himself out of the bath again and stood for a moment, eyes closed, letting the water run off him. You looked at him, his slender yet muscular figure was so pale he almost glowed even in the dim light, steam from the heat of the water rising off him. 

"If you have time to watch me, you have time to get _yourself_ ready." He said sternly, without turning to look at you.  
"Lord Aizen has new orders and there is still another matter I have to discuss with you."

You snapped out of your staring and shuffled to the bath, lowering yourself into the hot water. Your wounds had healed completely and your muscles felt full of strength again. 

"Thank you." You said softly. "For not leaving."

"You told me not to."

"But still, we both know I couldn't have done anything to stop you. You could have left if you really wanted to."

"I didn't want to." He responded tersely.

A flutter filled your stomach upon hearing that. It was obvious he had wanted to stay after all, but it felt good to actually hear him confirm it with words, even if they did sound emotionless as he spoke them. You were used to it by now though, that's just how he sounded. But you knew now that he did indeed feel something for you. He didn't need to express it in his voice, it seemed his actions would suffice. 

"I had come here to admonish you." He said firmly from the other side of your room. "Your decision to enter the Forest of Menos on your own was an incredibly foolish one."

You smiled at those typical words of his, though he couldn't see you do it. You lifted yourself out of the bath and found a sheet to dry off with. 

"Lord Aizen has ordered me to accompany you there from now on. As soon as your wounds were healed and your Reishi returned to normal, I was to take you there myself and have you fight against various Menos. We will train to help you control your Resurrección and properly utilize it while there. Since you have already recovered now, we will head there immediately."

You walked out past the screen, having dressed again. You sat on the bed as you pulled your boots back on, with much greater ease than when you had tried to take them off earlier. Ulquiorra was already fully dressed, his sword back in the waistband of his hakama. He had his hands in his pockets, leaning against the wall near the door waiting for you to get ready.

"Under no circumstances," He began to say, raising his tone slightly to a more stern one. "Are you to enter there again without me present."

You looked over at him, his stare bore into you, and you suddenly felt like a small child being scolded. You felt your cheeks flush.

"Is that clear?" He added.

You made a huff and rolled your eyes, giving a chuckle. It seems he was back to his normal self again. 

"Have I made myself clear to you?" He repeated sternly, and you gave him a nod as you stood up from the bed.

You walked over to the desk next to him and grabbed your sword, fixing the scabbard to your waist. As you walked past him towards the door, you felt his hand on your arm. You turned to look at him as you felt him pull you towards him. He looked in your eyes, and you felt another flush in your cheeks as he reached his hand up to your neck. He pulled you in and pressed his lips firmly into yours, giving you one last long kiss. You began to melt all over again, adrenaline rushing through you. If he hadn't pulled away when he did, you were sure you were going to start undressing him again.  
He closed his eyes, putting his hand back in his pocket and walked towards the door. It opened and you both left your room and walked down the long hallways.

Neither of you said anything as you walked towards Szayels palace, but that was okay. For the first time, you didn't feel any uncertainty or anxiety. You just felt happy and content knowing you weren't hopelessly unrequited anymore. Even though he may not ever show that to anyone but you, but you didn't mind at all.  
There was one thing that still nagged at you though.

"Have you known this whole time?" You asked.

"Elaborate." He responded.

"Did you know I was Vasto Lorde the whole time?"

You saw him tense for barely a second, your question seemingly a shock to him, but he kept it hidden well enough that anyone else may not have noticed.

"I do not know details." He finally said after a long pause.  
"But Lord Aizen had told me you had the potential to be exceptionally powerful. I was not pleased about being ordered to train you, but is not my place to question his decisions. I didn't see in you what he did, I had considered you to be trash. But the orders were given to me and I would carry them out regardless. It is my duty."

You weren't surprised to hear that, it was something you could tell right away from the first time you trained together, you always felt like trash around him. You remained silent, choosing not to say anything. You both continued to walk in silence for a while.

You had eventually come to the section of Szayels palace where the entrance to the long corridor sat. He walked in ahead of you and you followed closely behind as you descended the long winding path down into the bowels of Las Noches.  
You made a stop at the large gate and stared at up at it, feeling a tinge of nervousness about heading back in. Hopefully you would avoid that monstrous Hollow from before.

"I no longer consider you to be trash." Ulquiorra spoke suddenly, and you looked at him. He remained facing the gate, looking into it as he avoided your eyes.  
"I have seen now what you are already capable of, and have sensed for myself the power within you when you had fought against Szayelaporros Menos Leviathan." 

You felt comforted by his words, regardless of whether that was his intention or not.

You readied yourself, and you both entered through the ominous gate, arriving in the dark space of the Forest of Menos.


End file.
